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I don't want to be a bitch but I want to break up with him

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 July 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, *ovebaby126 writes:

Its been three years with this guy. Im over it i'm done.i'm a senior in high school now I need to get my life together and I can't when i'm being held back because of him.I recently went to Paris and its changed my perspective on life and relationships and I know our time has come.the Dilemma itshe gas done nothing wrong and lives me full hearted..how do I break up with him without looking like a birch and must importantly the softest way to ease the blew of heart break on him..sweetest person in the world i'm jst not committed to this anymore and is not fair to him..help on breaking up

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (26 July 2012):

shrodingerscat agony auntThere is no way to break up with someone who loves you that won't hurt them in some way. You absolutely must accept that reality and prepare for it. The gentlest way to break up with him is to talk to him in private, and tell him truthfully exactly what you want.

Do NOT tell him that you can "still be friends". That will only give him hope that you two will get back together in the future and make getting over you a much longer, drawn-out and more painful process.

Make the break cleanly. Get your stuff out of his place immediately, don't leave ANYTHING behind. If he has any stuff at your house, give it all back to him right away. Then block his number from your phones, delete/block him from your social networking pages like facebook, and DO NOT SPEAK TO HIM for a while. Avoid him as much as you can afterwards. The least he is exposed to you, the faster he can get over you and find a new partner. If you extend the breakup process at all, it'll just make it more difficult for him.

I admit, this process is harsh, difficult as hell and seems almost cruel...but in the long run, it's the absolute best way to cut the relationship completely off and expedite the process of emotional recovery.

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A female reader, MissTellAll United States +, writes (26 July 2012):

MissTellAll agony auntIt is more bitchy to stay with him when you are not happy.

Be sweet, say that you have just grown apart, and let him go gently. This is common, you are about to enter a new chapter in life and you don't see a place there for him.

The longer you wait the worse it will be. As cliche as it ,ay sound, rip it off like a giant band-aid.

Good luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 July 2012):

Honeypie agony auntThen let him down gently. Breaking up with him doesn't make you a bitch. IF you genuinely don't want to be with him, you need to end it.

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A female reader, BondGirl72 United States +, writes (26 July 2012):

BondGirl72 agony auntYou tell him that you don't think you should see each other anymore. You don't make excuses, you don't beat around the bush, you just tell him. There is no way to break up with someone without hurting him, but you don't hae to be mean about it. Just be calm and tell him. He will be hurt, but like you said, it is not fair to him to continue with a relationship that isn't going anywhere.

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