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*mike
writes:should you give up on love because of children? Me and my wife have been married for 8 years and have kids from previous marriges. She and her son left 2 months ago.We have been talking every day and spending weekends together. We are very much in love. Her son (23) has been a herion addict for 3 years. While we where living together i felt she needed to tell him get help or get out. She never did anything about it. Then she said she was going to take him and leave the first of the year. Since then he has used twice that i am aware. Now he has become an alcholic. We talk about how much we love each other and we are best friends. We don't talk about moving back together but do talk about the long term future together. She will not leave her son and I don't want a herion addict or alcoholic in my house. I have 2 kids myself that are living with me.What the hell do I do? wait till he grows up? give up on both of them?Thanks
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reader, drjw311 +, writes (20 December 2010):
maxsteel you have no idea what you are talking about and to call him scum is ignorant. addiction is a disease you cannot just tell someone to stop and expect them to, you try being an addict. they can recover and do...alot of them what they need is support but boundaries so you are not enabling their disease.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): hi i know how you feel i am a mum and i ave just found out my son is addaicted to this evil stuff i am at my wits end and dont know wat to do but i ave been and seen a advicer and i am going to to listen to them for advice because there is nothing you can do to help them i am heartbroken and really depressed i ave phoned his partner up tonight and she says he as been asleep all day on the couch and now he as woken up and is freezing i dont know anything about this evil stuff
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reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (4 March 2007):
 Heroin addicts are a huge deal for a family, he might influence your own kids! Its very decent of you to not want that kind of scum in your house. Its pretty obvious he wont get help and his mother really isn't helping him. Have u talked to her about it, that you cant have a future with him on heroin? He's over 20, there is no more growing up from him. If you cant talk your partner into take any action and you cant get him to get off this, then your final option is to leave or get used to it... I'm sure you know what you have to do. Just a question though, how long do heroin addicts live? If he dies soon, then all your problems should disappear. Unfortunately, who knows how long thats gonna be...
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