A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out and have been living together with my girlfriend, who has Cerebral Palsy.We have both met my parents twice. I get that impression that she cannot get used for us being together. When I asked my mum what she thought about us getting engaged, she implied that you do not need to do it all. I can't shop thinking she does not approve of us being together.How is it best to tell her that we are good together. Another, thing was, she did not like us conuding while we were there. Do you think other parents would have the same views as this?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (8 February 2009):
Do you think it is because of the CP?
My friend's boyfriend does a lot of caring for her due to a few things she has wrong with her.
Much as she is a wonderful girl, and as much as he loves her, and as much as she looks after him and makes him happy... His family will never quite open up to her.
His mum I think sees her as a bit of a burden that may hold her darling boy back and thinks his life would be easier if he was with a "normal" girl. I can understand her viewpoint a little bit. But the fact remains that they love each other and are together for the long term.
You mum may have issues but sadly, that is her problem and she needs to sort them out herself. You can help her, not be reassuring her how it's not an issue, but by just crowding out the negative with the positive. Big up your girlfriend by talking about how she is good for you and how she helps you and you couldn't get along with out her.
eg. I got promoted at work, I would never have thought about it but my girlfriend suggested X Y and Z and it really worked on impressing the bosses.
or: You know I was doing X that cost me money / was bad in some way, well my girlfriend did some research and found out stuff that means I now pay less / am better off / have achieved world domination.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): The way i feel is if you really do love her then do not let your mother get in the way of that. Your mother just wants you be happy. So, if your happy and really do love her then go for it and tell her!
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (8 February 2009):
 I can understand your mother's desire to see her son with a young, active,etc woman but i think your mother needs to realize that you 2 are happy and that your girlfriend is a good person(assuming of course)and that matters the most. your gf may not be able to be a ballerina but i am sure that there are lots of things that she CAN do. try and help your mother realize what it is that makes you love your gf, tell her what kind of person your gf is.......etc. hope this helps a bit:)
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