A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy last week and went out a few times. We met online and had spent some time on the phone before we met in person.He seemed nice but he is too overwhelming! Goes on about working out at the gym and when can I meet him next and how sweet and pretty I am. Blah Blah Blah.He is from Boston and he moved here to Pittsburgh. His language is filthy and he seems to make too many calls and sends too many texts for my liking.I have stopped answering his calls except for a few.I dont think I want anymore to do with him, what do I do next?Red flags go up for me cause he says how much he is falling for me and he can see us together for a long time - he is an ex-marine which reminds me of the mentality of my xhb who is a police officer. He also is 8 yrs younger than me and works out all the time which I see as being very immature and selfishSuggestions?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2012): Hi. He might be a nice guy. But if you met him online and hes very busy texting and making calls all the time. It could be he is juggling lots of ladies. Ive seen that type of behaviour before.
I met someone once who similarly thought we were very compatible after only a few weeks! He was slightly younger and way too keen really. After 6 months together I found him still online and saying exactly the same things to other women that he was saying to me! So if alarm bells are going off everywhere and you have a bad feeling about him. Do listen to your instincts. I didnt listen to mine, I listened to his charming words and it was a total error of judgement. Do what feels right to you.
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (11 April 2012):
 If he's coming on too strong and you don't want to date him, you need to tell him in a nice but honest way. IN PERSON. Do not dump his friendship over text or on the phone.
Tell him something like...
"Listen, I know that you like me, but to be completely frank with you, you really came on way too strong and pushed me away with moving too fast into relationship-talk. We barely even know each other! I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested in you. We need to stop talking to each other."
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (11 April 2012):
 I am totally with you on this one. I have dated younger men and they can be like excited little puppies who get really carried away and usually end up saying a whole bunch of stuff they don't mean. If you go along with it you usually end up being let down when they decide to get over themselves.
The constant texting and vieing for attention is really off putting and annoying so it's no wonder you feel so uncomfortable.
The best thing to do is to call him and tell him that you arn't compatible with him and you don't want to take things further. If he jumps up and down and shows off, you might have to just grin and ignore it. Don't answer any of his calls or texts (like you have been doing)and he will soon get the message. I tend to find that these excited pups get bored very easily so it's not usually a problem getting rid of them.
Stay strong and good luck.
AE x
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