A
female
age
41-50,
*rong
writes:hi everyone I have a problem that has been bothering me for a long rime. 5 years ago I was in a long term relationship which i would say that i wansnt really happy. I met somebody else and we started going out for drinks.he was pushing me to end my relationship and be together but i wasnt sure.the chemistry between us was fantastic and sex was the best ever. We met a couple of times a week we had a great time together he meant the world to me and i meant the world to him. After a bit of time I ended my long term relationship and continued seeing the new guy. But we ended up meeting just for sex a couple of times a week and sometimes only once a week or 2-3 times a month. After a couple of months he met someone else and moved in with her (at the end i discovered it was his ex)and I got mad and didnt speak to him for 6 months. We suddenly met one day out I was shocked to see him and he was shocked to see me. the chemistry between us was really amazing and we started kissing and ended up in bed. i dont know what it was but it was fantastic. At the time I was seeing someone else and felt really guilty. the tempation was really bad and we started an affair. After a week we both ended our relationships and started seeing each other. I wasnt really sure about him but went with the flow. We had great times together but still the relationship was based on sex. I tried to end it a couple of times but something always brought me back to him. He told me that no matter what i do in my life there will always be something between us. Anyway it was summer time and I went away when i arrived back he told me he wanted to talk to me.He asked me what I wanted from this relationship and i said I dont know. the next day he went back to his ex and said that he only went back because he wanted to have a normal relationship.he said that i was his passion and always will be. After a month I met someone else a wonderful guy and moved on. life was great but something was always missing. and two monhts later we bumbed in to each other again. he came crying sayin that he made a mistake and that he was unhappy. I said thats your problem and left. 4 months later we meet again and dont know what happpened but we slept together again. he was still seing his GF and I still saw my BF. We were both with the wrong people but we didnt have the courage to leave them. anyway we ended up meeting up for sex and then we both broke up with our partners. Now we see each other 1-2 times a week but that is always having sex cuddling saying how much we miss each other how much we are jealous about other people but we are never able to be together in a normal relationship. I dont know what I want from him and I dont know what he wants from me. But everytime I see him I feel great and he does too. I dont know how to make this relationship normal. Or I dont know if I should leave and find someone else. But even if I find someone else I dont know if I can leave without this passsion.........can you please help me its been 5 yearsssthanks
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female
reader, wrong +, writes (8 February 2009):
wrong is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your answers and you are all right but there are certain things that I didnt tell you. I do know him very well. we actually work in the same field so we do some work together. we are both doctors. I work about 15 hours a day and he works may 10 so my free time is limited and also his. I know that I have to let it go and move on but I dont know how. You know the passion is stronger and I cannot resist. I am fighting it but it always win......
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Well it all seems so carnal. Sex is only a part of a relationship. An important part, but you NEED more for it to be long lasting. It's almost like you should quit sleeping w/him if you're ever going to get to know him. What DO you know about him? Make a list of his traits. Sometimes seeing things on paper gives you an eye opener. Is this the kind of man that's worth your time? you'd want to have kids with? You need to go deeper, otherwise you'll be chasing the wind with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Maybe you all haven't been able to get past the stage where the incredible sexual chemistry you two have has calmed down a bit. Maybe you should go out, get the bed out of the equation and have some normal fun. Then that night you can release any tension from the day, and keep doing this until the time out is just as much as fun as the fun in the bed. Its obvious you can't stay away from him, so try to put some normal aspects into your relationship, and you never know, something big can come from it.
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