A
female
age
36-40,
*upcake
writes:Alright so I really need some help. I am beyond confused and stressed out and dont know what to do.So back in June I had decided I was unhappy in my home town and wanted to finally travel, which is something I have always wanted to do and never have. I was single and am 24yrs old and had nothing holding me back so I contacted a friend in Australia and made plans for me to move there at the end of September once I saved enough money over the summer. While I was preparing and saving for the trip of a lifetime my best guy friend of 6years and I started getting really close and ended up beginning an amazing relationship unlike anything I have ever experienced. We knew that I was leaving so we did our best to keep our emotions in check. I arrived in Australia a week ago and its paradise here and I love it. However my flight here and the whole week since i have been here I have been so depressed and miss him terribly. He ended up sending me an email 3days after I got here saying he knew he had strong feelings for me but didnt realize how strong they were until I had left and that he loves me and wants me to come home and be with him. And I feel the same way. I have always been known for my amazing ability to let go of guys and not care, but this time i just cant.. I have been so upset since being here, when really I should be having the time of my life. We have both fallen for each other and now I dont know whether to stay and experience the trip I have always wanted (orginially I was to be here for 1 year) or if I should follow my heart and go home to the man I have fallen for. I live in a house with 5 girls here and there all telling me I might regret it if I leave, but I can honestly say I have never felt like this about anyone and I dont know if i want to miss out on an opportunity with someone so amazing for a trip.. Please help i dont know what to do!!
View related questions:
depressed, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kerbear75 +, writes (6 October 2010):
I think you need to give this at least three months. If he cant leave his work, that makes sense, but maybe he could pay for a two way flight for you to come home for an xmas visit.
Then do another three months. After 6 months if you are still wanting to go home, at least you know you gave it a try.
Having a plan, will help with how much it hurts and how much you miss him because you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long/short that tunnel is.
A
female
reader, Cupcake +, writes (6 October 2010):
Cupcake is verified as being by the original poster of the question He knows its important and understands and would like to come out here, but he owns a business back home and its not so easy for him to leave. He is however trying his best. As nice as it is here, Im just having a hard time fully enjoying myself out here because my heart is just aching to be with him.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 October 2010):
Stay out there and travel. You'll resent it later on in life if you don't. See if he can come out to you, speak to each other, e-mail pictures of you having fun to him and all that. But don't blow your life's dream for a guy. If you, later on in life you'll look back and regret it.
...............................
A
female
reader, kerbear75 +, writes (6 October 2010):
That is really a difficult situation for you. You have to make the choice, but maybe ask some questions before you decide.
1. If you stay would he wait?
2. How long would he wait?
3. Is is possable for him to come for a visit during your stay?
I think you are young and should never pass up this opportunity. He might miss you but I think his love for you should allow him to want you to stay. He has been your friend for 6 years, he should understand how this trip is important this is to you.
I understand that 1 year is a long time to ask someone to wait, or for that matter to wait yourself. Maybe shorten the trip a bit if you cant agree on a plan that works for 1 year.
I think that if you two are really in love you should really be talking to him and letting him know how you feel. When you start to talk to him, his answers will tell you how he feels. Just throw caution to any threats to not wait for you... this would be a way to make you come home, and that would not be true love.
Good luck, and I hope talking to him gives you a perfect plan so you can enjoy both opportunities.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): Hmmm, why don't you decide (for now) to change your plans and plan to stay in Aus for about 3 months, just for the summer there, and then go back home? Would that feel better to you? A summer in Aus (speaking from the experience of having lived here my whole life) is amazing and you'll have some wonderful experiences. And by telling this great guy you'll only be away 3 months and you want so much to come back to be with him but also don't want to miss this great opportunity, well, it should take the pressure off everyone. Then when it's nearing the 3 month mark and if everything's still going well with him (sounds like it will be!) you can go back. It seems like a good compromise to me. And if even 3 months away from him seems unbearable, you can cut it shorter, but it does seem a real shame. Would it be possible for him to come stay in Oz for a few weeks in the middle of your 3 month trip? That could be really fantastic!
...............................
|
