A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am in yr11 at school and I am going out with this guy (John) who is in yr12 (lower 6th form) and we have been going out for just over 2 months now.About 2 weeks ago, John took me to one side and told me that he couldnt be with me anymore because he liked another girl (Jane), who also happened to be a friend of mine and the girl he had liked before he went out with me.His best friend (Jack), also happens to be like a brother to me and actually is Jane's brother. He saw how upset I was about the break-up and was talking to John about it and he realised that John didn't actually want to break up with me, he just felt he had to.Jack got John to talk to me and it turned out he only started liking Jane and dumped me because he thought I was having 2nd thoughts about our relationship because I would never tell him what was wrong.We talked it over and decided we would still be friends and I was okay with that, but i was still really upset. The next day, the day after he dumped me, he came up to me and asked me to take him back and in the end (after a lot of stress and advice seeking) I said yes I would because he makes me happy and I really like him.But now, I keep getting really paranoid all the time, and when I see Jane I cant help but see her as competition. Also, I was already really insecure before but now I am seeing everything as a possible warning sign that he might change his mind again and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should end it now to avoid being upset in the future or if I should stay with it and try harder to tell him when I am upset and why.Sorry it was so long. I would be very grateful for any advice, thank you in advance :) x x x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you. I saw him again today and I realised that even if I do get hurt in the future, he makes me happy now so I should spend as much time with him as possible :) thank yooooouuu :) x x x
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Relationships are hard work and doubly hard at your age because you are all still finding out who you are and where you stand in the world. My advice is to try and take things one day at a time and enjoy things in the moment they are happening. Also I suggest filling up your life with lots of other things apart from a boyfriend so you can find out what you like and what interests you.
The way I see it Jane is the innocent party here and doesn't deserve you to feel paranoid about her so try to act normally around her and continue to be her friend.
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A
female
reader, BriBri  +, writes (2 February 2011):
It is normal you feel threaten by another girl.But just because you feel threaten by her doesnt mean you need to break it off wih your boyfriend.He wants you over her so be happy and live it up, dont give up.You really like him you stay with him if you dont let him go.
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