A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm 19 and in my first year of college musical theatre. This is my first time on my own and I feel like everything is going too fast. guy I like is 22 third year. There is the guy who is gay and well I don't know how I should read this. First off, I am gay. Not everyone knows. I don't tell people unless they ask and sometimes I don't give a straight answer beause I'm confused. I wouldn't say I am bi but I'm still curious about women. I've been to his house and shared the same bed and cuddled with him. He's always putting his hand on my lap, holding my hand. He's very flamboyant and feminine. I know the touchiness with me means nothing. He'd touch, cuddle, or kiss anyone because that is his personality. He says he used to be like me but I doubt it. He calls him self a sex whore. Says he'll only have sex with friends though. Says he loves food more than men and I'm not sure if he's kidding. To know what I'm like okay. I'm Sandra Dee. I'm a goody goody. raised in a christian home. I don't drink, I still believe in the fairytale "the one" romance. We went to a haloween party. I didn't drink, but I have trouble saying no to things and played spin the bottle. I kissed a girl, my gay friend 3 times and another gay guy 2 times. The other gay guy invited me to sit in with a group smoking weed. It freaked me out and I left. I felt so out of place. when I'm depressed I turn back to my religion side and was crying begging God to get me out of there(I had to get a ride with other people) my friend asked if I was okay and grabed my hand and led me into the other room, I kept saying I was fine untill I couldn't say it looking at him. I can't hide my feelings I always start whispering my words when I'm about to cry so yeah I started crying again I'm not used to people and I was sad because I felt I wasted my first kiss, but he assured me that doesn't really count because the first kiss is probably with family and it's the first kiss with intimacy that matters. he had his hands on both my cheeks and I felt tempted to kiss him. He sat with me while his friend drove me home. I felt like such a fool. So I'm an anti social no experience with human interaction goody goody. I'm shyer but taller. so it's weird. So we don't have much compatibility and this is his last year and he'll move away. He says datign scares the **** out of him and people who are sure of themselves is what he is into but he doesn't have a type. Well I'm not sure of myself sexuality wise, emotionaly wise, or anything, but I'm trying. I'm getting attached too easily. I don't know if I should try to back off or pursue this. I know I'm in school and shouldn't focus on relationships but I'm going to become and actor, If I think like that I'll be forever alone because of my career.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I did talk to him about it. I didn't ask him out, but told him I sometimes have feelings for him. He just wants to be friends. Part of me thinks "challenge accepted" but I'm going to try to let it go. It will be hard because he is very cuddly touchy. Things I'd only do if I liked someone like that, and it does lead me on, but I'm not going to tell him that because I don't want him to stop because I like it.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 November 2011):
 You are the person who you are and you should never change it for anybody. Tell him how you feel. Be open and honest with him and see where it gets you. Don't get down on yourself because you don't like going out and getting drunk or high, religion seems important to you and that is a great trait to have. You should never change the person that you are. But be honest with yourself and tell your friend how you feel about it. Time is running out and if you don't tell him you may live to regret it. Off course you should not let a relationship get in the way of studying but you still deserve happiness, plus relationships are all part of making us who we are so go for it you have nothing to lose. Good luck.
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