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I don't know how to have fun around the man I love!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 August 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 August 2010)
A female Philippines age 36-40, *anetlaagan writes:

Hello everyone,

I’m in the situation that I don’t know how to have fun to the man I like or I love. I never had someone that I can get along since before I’m shy and I don’t have confidence. I’m 25 years old now but I still confuse my feelings. I had a chat mate before that I really like and almost I’m willing to give all what I have to give. We met last year but it’s not lucky coz were not compatible each other. But I keep thinking on him and I was really totally broke. I don’t know why I always thinking on him even he never care enough for me. I really hate this feelings. Now they have someone treat me like a princes and he is the one I dreamt of. But the problem is is Me. I don’t know how to have fun. I really like to talk a lot with him so that we will know each other and have a healthy relationship like other couple. The problem is we are not same hobbies or same common. He loves talking about our feelings each other and I love it too but sometimes I feel bored when we always used this 24/7. I love to share what happen in my daily life but my life is not fun and also him I guess. Cos every time I ask him day he only say it’s good and usual also. If I share some my favorite sites he never talk about it. He call at me every day but he only using the same word too. Well I know I have English problem but I’m already trying to improve it. I chat him for a weeks and he wanted to marry me soon. We will meet soon but I feel nervous, little bit scared but I know I love him and he is the one I wanted. I love him coz he is family oriented, loving, sweet and willing to listen. The man what I really wanted for a long time. We have same value in life but the problem is I didn’t really feel the happiness inside of me. I always stuck and dumb everytime when on the phone and I’m so worried about it coz I want him to be happy too like what does on me.

View related questions: confidence, shy

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A female reader, sanetlaagan Philippines +, writes (3 August 2010):

sanetlaagan is verified as being by the original poster of the question

sanetlaagan agony auntoh, thank you so much for the comments it's help me to consider more what I'm doing next. Actually, I'm observing him already and measure how much he loves me. I tried to ask some interesting question with him from the great sites but I still not satisfied his answer he sounds great but something 1 sentence and then period. I wanted to help him to be open up and be my best friend. Most of friends and co workers describe me as a sophisticated so I really love talking anything. I really like him and the most he impress me so much his family. His Family love writing with me and I admire it coz all of them are so supportive. I think he is hopeless romantic also? he's been in divorce from 3 years now and no kids. He always say to me that he never been happy before and he always sounds loving desperate. Very soon not to (mention the date) he going to see me. In our first meeting he said he is so exciting to put engagement ring. I'm so happy to have someone offering me like that coz it's my dream to have a family soon. I just confuse and doubt if I give my soul in our first meeting when I got the ring. He said after 1 month he will back again to marry me and he don't have any problem about the money and his family.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010):

oh, thank you so much for the comments it's help me to consider more what I'm doing next. Actually, I'm observing him already and measure how much he loves me. I tried to ask some interesting question with him from the great sites but I still not satisfied his answer he sounds great but something 1 sentence and then period. I wanted to help him to be open up and be my best friend. Most of friends and co workers describe me as a sophisticated so I really love talking anything. I really like him and the most he impress me so much his family. His Family love writing with me and I admire it coz all of them are so supportive. I think he is hopeless romantic also? he's been in divorce from 3 years now and no kids. He always say to me that he never been happy before and he always sounds loving desperate. Very soon not to (mention the date) he going to see me. In our first meeting he said he is so exciting to put engagement ring. I'm so happy to have someone offering me like that coz it's my dream to have a family soon. I just confuse and doubt if I give my soul in our first meeting when I got the ring. He said after 1 month he will back again to marry me and he don't have any problem about the money and his family.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (2 August 2010):

janniepeg agony auntYou don't get married to a chat mate. That's just not right. I have the most boring life. I don't drink, smoke, go to parties. I don't play sports and watch sports. I have a 4 year old son. Yet there is so much to talk about the world, your job, and just people around you. A relationship does not make a life fun. You have to make your life fun. I don't know what you do for a living. If you don't have passion in your job, you have to find something that has meaning to you. He may want a typical Asian lady. We do have a lot of fine qualities. He satisfied having a sweet, quiet lady. On the other hand, you feel like something is missing and he's not the one to provide that. You need more life experience to share, and to judge whether people are good to you or not, your preferences, your type of men you like, etc. Talking on the phone is different from meeting a person in real life. Men like to bluff. They lie about how much they make, their age, their career. He talked about being family oriented. How do you really know that? He heard somewhere that asians are family oriented, and therefore he tried to impress you, showing he has that quality.

I don't think you share the same value. He is ready to settle, or he wants only sex who knows. You are still finding yourself.

He will give you some life experience. Just don't rely on him as a life partner yet. I really don't like him talking about marriage on the phone. It bothers me.

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