A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so ive met this guy twice and hes sweet but totally not my type. ive only met him when ive had a drink and he has too. i wouldnt say he's good looking - lets put it that way - but the first time i met him he gave me a kiss goodbye. and then the second time he had his arm around me all night holding my hand and said he would buy me food if i gave him a kiss. then he gave me a hug goodbye and just as i was going to leave he hugged me again for a long time. i didnt even like him before but since this i cant stop thinking about him. i want to see him again really badly but i don't even find him attractive in the looks department! help me please!!!!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (1 February 2012):
 Damn. Tough deal here. He seems like a gent who "gets it" when attracting women personality wise. He seems caring, charming, and romantic. All good qualities. Now, looks? Well in my prev experience looks were everything with women which is part of why Ive transformed. I wont slap my stereotype on you at all because I know that in order for a relationship to work you need to be sexually attracted to this guy. He can buy you as many gifts as he wants, stop a moving train from hitting you, or dive from the sky and swoop u up but if he doesnt have looks, at the end of the day, things will fail more than likely. Good luck.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (1 February 2012):
A part of me wants to say to give this guy a shot, however, the other half says that you may only be feeling this affection towards him because he gives you so much attention. You may be just attracted to the special attention you've recieved, and not so much the person giving the attention. But if you really think there could be something there and think your attraction to him goes beyond just looks (it certainly can, and that person can become very beautiful once you realize how great they are as a whole package), then go for it. Tread carefully, however, as if this attraction doesn't last for you, you may end up just leading him on.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (1 February 2012):
 Maybe it's because he's treating you with so much affection. How have your past relationships been? This could be something you're not used to and you like the attention.
Do you find yourself acting like this when you're sober around him?
There HAS to be some sort of physical attraction from the get go, otherwise it will just fizzle out later..when something better looking comes along.
I would maybe give him another shot, when you're sober, a proper date, and see how it goes from there.
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A
female
reader, Pooki__11  +, writes (1 February 2012):
He's paying you attention, being absolutely adorable - of course you want to see him again. But..... can you imagine having sex with him, do you feel the undeniable burn to just kiss him, are you proud to be out and about with this man on your arm. If you can then go for it, if you cant then you are probably going to lead this boy and yourself down a path of despair. I know, coz I did it. This guy gave me everything I could want, treated me like a princess, but as his affection grew for me, mine dwindled. By the end I could barely bring myself to kiss him. It sounds shallow that we place an amount of emphasis on looks (and a year ago I would have sworn that I didnt care what a guy looked like as long as he treated me right). But time has changed my opinion. Just something for you to think about.
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A
female
reader, itcantjustbeme +, writes (1 February 2012):
 He's a gentleman with confidence. He's a diamond in the rough. You might also be attracted to him through body chemistry. Though a lot of people don't believe this pheromones lead you on and can turn you on and interest you in someone. Give the guy a chance, he may just be Mr. Prince Charming.
As well physical attraction is something that we feel when we see someone because we find them to be a suitable mate to make attractive children with. But there are other things then appearance that attract us to people because we understand that our children are going to need more than looks in order to survive. ie, smarts, charm, humor, stable body structure and a good moral compass.
Not saying you're going to get married and have a bunch of kids with him but thats the basic principles of attraction; it goes deeper than skin.
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