A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years since I was a senior in high school. Now that I am about to graduate from college. We have had a long distance relationship for most of the time we have been together. Over the past couple of months I've been feeling more and more distant from him. I don't enjoy his company as much or even really care to kiss him. I still love him but I don't feel like I am "in love" with him any more. I feel like I have been pretty much married for since I was 19 now I am 23 and I just want to do my own thing and have other experiences with other guys while I am still young. I tried talking to him about it the other night when I came to visit him but he just made me feel really guilty. So I couldn't break up with him. I just feel so bad I don't want to hurt him and I don't want him to hate me. How do I break it off without causing him too much pain?
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male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (1 February 2012):
1. He will be hurt. You're essentially ending a 5 year relationship/friendship. There is nothing you can do to make it hurt less, especially when your excuse is "I just want to experience other things and have experiences with other guys while I'm still young." Even if it sounds valid to you, to him it says "You're not good enough."2. The grass is always greener on the other side. This seems like a great idea now, but be prepared to face a lot of backlash when you realize you've given up a solid, sturdy 5 year strong relationship (something most people hope to find) and may never be able to get it back. Realize just how much you're throwing away and ask yourself if its still worth it. So is it worth it? For a few one night stands with random guys? To have a few more "experiences" on your own? Would you sacrifice a 5 year relationship for that? Just because you've seemed to lose that spark? If you can say yes, then its all you; go ahead and break up with him as its clear you don't want to be with him anymore. But if some part of you doesn't want to give it all up, think long and hard about the decision you're making. You don't want to be living in regret when you realize you gave up something really important for a shot at something that didn't measure up.Its your choice; I just hope you really think about it before throwing away so much instantly. This may burn a lot of bridges, so be prepared to face the consequences.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): I really do not know how you can break up with him without hurting him. I just want to let you know I really admire you a lot for not wanting to hurt him because some people only think of themselves and don't care about the other person feelings. I had a friend once that was a very nice guy but I didn't like him in that way so I told him that I was not into sex, I told him that I didn't care about sex anymore and that I didn't want to hold him back so that worked for me. Whatever you decide to do I hope you can find a way to let him down easy because getting dump is not a good feeling when you love someone. How about just gradually fading out of the relationship?
Wish You Luck
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (1 February 2012):
 There's NO way to soften the blow of a break-up or any easier way of going about it.
You just have to bring yourself to do it. The longer you drag out this relationship, the more the break up will hurt him.
Although it is easier to break up in a LDR because you don't ever have to see that person again.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (1 February 2012):
 You cant break up with him without causing him much pain.
If he wants to be with you and fearful of losing you: (which in a way he feels because otherwise he wouldnt have tried manipulating you into feeling guilty)
then there is no way you can break up without hurting him.
Personally, if you really feel this relationship is done, tell him its over. It will hurt him however you break the news there is no easy way.
You have to be happy in your life because life's too short and if someone/thing is making you feel that they are holding you back at living life ...it can be quiet detrimental to your relationship with them.
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