A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and recently I feel as if I do not love him anymore. He has been all of my firsts. The only guy i have ever dated. Lately it seems that I am wanting more, like maybe for him to surprise me at work or anything different. I have told him this but nothing has been done. The sex, lets just say he can't get me off at all. So not enjoyable for me. I am afraid that if I leave him that I will regret it but at the same time I want to go and see what the world has. I kind of feel tied down where I am now. He is all I have ever known and I am not sure if i am still with him because of that or if I should risk it to maybe find a better happiness. So my question, stay with him or leave him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt was a hard decision but I made it. My sister is recently pregnant and i am going to move out near her. Leaving him behind. Thank you guys for your opinions they did help!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 April 2013):
 The minute someone new catches your eye and you think you want to date him your dilemma will be over and you will leave the current boyfriend.
Better to leave now and be alone on your own a bit so that when you find a new guy you don't have to put him on hold while you end what's become an unhappy relationship.
If you want more (like surprises at work although to me you are at work to WORK not be surprised by your SO or receive gifts) and you have told him what you want/need and he heard it and does nothing to meet these needs/wants then it's not going to change... that's just not his make up. IF you cant' accept him as he is, then you can't stay with him. YOU cannot love a man's potential. Just his actual persona.
As for sex.... is the only complaint that you don't orgasm no matter what he tries? Because I've had 4 husbands and numberous lovers both male and female over the years and ONLY ONE could consistently make me orgasm. It does not mean I did not enjoy sex with the others, only that I was the one responsible for my orgasm. Less than 30% of all women orgasm from penetration alone. If you can bring yourself to orgasm and have tried to teach him and he still can't but he tries, well then that may not be a a deal breaker....
and yet I think that the relationship has run it's course and you need to have that lousy break up conversation.
"we can be friends" is the kiss of death, better to go no contact for both of you.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 April 2013):
You really only have two options.
Stay with him forever, or break up with him at some point (now or later).
You definitely don't want to marry him, so what does that leave? Breaking up at some point. That point could be now or when you're 80,but why not sooner than later if you're not happy?
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 April 2013):
 Leave him. You are only with him through fear of being alone, you clearly want to see what else the world has to offer and you dont want to be tied down at such a young age, so the best thing to do is to leave so you are free to do what you want.You wont regret leaving him in the long run, you need to take advantage of being young and being able to do what you want - being tied down is only for when you are older and have responsibilities. There are plenty more guys out there who will be suitable for you, be single for a while though and just enjoy being young and free.
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