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male
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*ollywoodbody
writes: I have been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now. We have had on and off periods. The other day when I was at her apartment I counted 24 picture frames about, however I am only in 1 frame. I have told her many times I dont feel like I am a big enough part of her life, or I am not a priority. Am I worng for thinking this?-Just wondering
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2006): I am a culprit of this (all though my boyfriend doesn't really notice or care). I have picture frames everywhere, all though I don't have any pictures of us together.
Now, one of the reasons why that is is because I don't have any really nice pictures of us together. I have a bunch on my digital camera, but I don't have a printer (blah blah blah)...
But, I live with him. I moved from my home, so I have pictures of my family and my friends who I don't get to see every day.
Everything in our house together is a memory of him. I don't need to look at a picture, I can just look right at him. He is a HUGE part of my life, and I have all sorts of items that aren't in frames around the house to remind me of him every day.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. And what's stopping YOU from putting a nice picture in a frame and giving it to her? That's a way to get yourself on that mantel.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): Here's a thought: Take more pictures of the two of you together doing memorable things.
Maybe you're not a big enough part of her life. Off and on has a way of doing that. The way to fix it isn't by complaining about it, or even by discussing it. The way to fix it is to decide there's a change in the relationship that you want and then to think of ways to get it. Ask her to go on trips with you, or to do things that would be good picture spots. THen be the one to remember to take the camera. Don't go with the purpose of filling all her frames -- go with the purpose of having a wonderful time and making some great memories together.
Here's another thought: Stop trying so hard to evaluate/assess/analyze/quantify. It irks you that she doesn't seem to make you a higher priority. I get that. But counting picture frames and doing a ratio of your appearance therein? What are you, a management consultant? Sorry, that was low. Seriously, though. Try accepting the fact that this is going to annoy you and deciding that you will live with it for a while. And then force yourself to ignore it, to see whether your relationship can flourish without all the picking.
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A
female
reader, xLEAHx  +, writes (18 October 2006):
 Hi there holly,
As you haven't really give enough info out about your relationship with your girlfriend i cant really say ..but it seems as if maybe you are making a mountain out of mole hill (figure of speech) if you wern't a big part of your g/friends life then im sure she wouldnt still be with you after 3 years, maybe she has 24 picture frames because she has a big family or maybe more into art than photography..what you should be asking yourself is,is there any other concerns in your relationship that your worried about and that you don't seem to be a part of..try talking to her if it really bothers you..
Take care xLEAHx
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A
female
reader, Katylouise +, writes (18 October 2006):
what does it matter if theres is only one picture at least there is a picture! So long as your in her heart why should anything else matter. Speak to her find out how she feels.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (18 October 2006):
 Hi wondering,
Well, if you continue to act this needy, she will feel even less attracted to you.
What actions are you doing to be more important in her life? Do you travel together? Do you share in her family life, and she in yours? After 3 years, are you contemplating marrying her? Look to what actions you are taking in order to deepen your emotional bonds.
Address her EMOTIONAL NEEDS.
-Frank B Kermit
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