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Latest articles:

Dearcupid is a teacher....

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9 January 2010: I have always had in mind to put some article here but I never found the real time to do it. This article is just to express my thanks to this website. I know for a fact that Dearcupid doesn't answer all people's questions to what they want to hea...

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What do women in particular think of a guy who's 30 and never had a girlfriend?

Q.   Anyway, I want to hear some opinions. Guys are welcome to comment, but I think that girls may be able to offer me some valuable insight as to what exactly my problem is, and whether or not anything can be done about it. I've always been rath...

A.   18 December 2013: WiseOwl nailed it. He said all the things I wish I could say but couldn't say as I might offend you. But he is right. I am commenting on your post because I am currently trying to know someone who is the same type as you. Well, I just became sing... (read in full...)

Did he love me when he was with me? What should I do to forget this cheating? Should I take revenge? Exactly what I must do to forget my first love?

Q.   Hi, I don’t even know in what situation I am going through now. My name is Beloved (fake name) The year of 2011 was a great year for me for both in good and bad terms. Firstly when I say in good terms, it means I found a guy (25) of my dreams ...

A.   16 May 2012: Hi, I really can relate to your situation right now. But I choose to respond to your post differently. You see, I used to work in Dubai and my sister is still there working. Like the girl that you described, my home country is Philippines. Tak... (read in full...)

We were having great dates and then.... utter silence for 2 weeks!

Q.   Hi there, Ok I know this has happened to some women before but it has not happened to me. I was seeing what seemed like a great guy, we were going out on dates, meeting each others friends. I even met his brother. I am 30 he is 28. We ...

A.   1 September 2011: I agree with Tom. Two weeks is too long to not hear anything from him. I do not think it was the weekend that caused him to go disappearing like this. If it was, he is a shallow guy and just forget about him. He seems to me like a player for exiti... (read in full...)

Valentine's day 2010...

Q.   For those who don't know or haven't read my posts before, my name's Josh, and the biggest aspect of my love-life at the moment is that it hasn't existed yet. To read more about this, check my column and my other articles out (Y) However, this ...

A.   18 February 2010: Nice!! I liked reading your post. I am so happy for you. Just go with the flow without pressure. Pursue her but give her space. Think of her but don't neglect your studies. Love her but love yourself too!! That's what you call multi-ta... (read in full...)

Need opinions on what happened to me..thank you for reading!

Q.   I am writing this as my "burn letter", to free me from the pain I am going through and to try to get over this and ask people what did I do wrong so please bear with me and read this, thanks! I went about 4 times with a girl in nov. 2008 (we were...

A.   16 February 2010: I totally understand why you are clueless about her. Even me, I will be if i was in your shoes. But only a person who has no feelings attached can have a better opinion why she acts that way. In my opinion, I think she has issues with her past. Yo... (read in full...)

I have 5 girlfriends and now it's a problem.

Q.   I've got five girlfriends and I honestly don't know what to do. Basically, I met a girl three years ago in college. We began a relationship, got serious, then she left for work in the USA. We're still together in the form of a long-distance ...

A.   28 January 2010: Honestly, I don't know how you communicate with all of them without being caught. Do you feel that each one is suspecting that your attention is divided? But anyway, that's not directly related to your question. Yet I believe that is why keeping ... (read in full...)

Is he interested or naive?

Q.   In a few weeks im supposed to interview one of my old middle school teachers about an event that is going on in spring. Just to let you know, I’ve liked this guy for like 6 years and we have a really good relationship as teacher and student. ...

A.   26 January 2010: Hi, Based on your story, i think your teacher likes you in some way but not the kind you hope for. His reactions may be because he is flattered that a student finds him attractive, therefore, he acts that way infront of you. Well, if you ... (read in full...)

A question for the guys, why does my ex-boyfriend act this way?

Q.   Ok so me and my ex have been broken up for 3 months, he was talking to a girl about 3 weeks later and they started dating about a week after that. He lied to me when i asked about her and i asked several times, later on he said he just didnt wa...

A.   18 January 2010: Well, I am not a guy but I have experienced the same thing so maybe I can give you some insights. First of all, we cannot fully say that your ex had no feelings for you at all. If he hasn't you will not hear from him nor see him forever. Somehow,... (read in full...)

Should I see whether she misses me by not having any contact with her for about a week or two???

Q.   Ok I am really in love with this girl for 2 years already. I waited for her even though I knew she was in a relationship with her bf for 4 years. Her relationship wasn't going well. She broke up with him a couple of times but patched back with him ...

A.   16 January 2010: I have known so many people who have been in the same situation as you. Even I was and am currently in the same situation now in some way. I can say how you feel and think is is perfectly understandable and logical. Actually, it's not a bad idea... (read in full...)

How can I stop myself wanting to play with barbie dolls?

Q.   hi. I need some help. I'm an 18 year old girl who stopped playing with barbie toys two days ago. I know it sounds a bit crazy. Anyways, sometimes I feel like I want to play with them again. I really miss playing with them but I know I have to grow ...

A.   15 January 2010: You know, I suggest just play with them when you want to. It will fade in time as you get new experience in life like falling in love or having a new job where you will earn like an adult. I think there's nothing wrong with it. To tell you, I went... (read in full...)

Should I end my marriage due to my wife cheating for a year whilst denying it all that time...

Q.   I have been married for 10 years and we have one 9 year old child. My wife is 8 years my junior, she is 42. I first suspected my wife cheating over a year ago based on the usual e.g., not answering the phone when I am around and sleeping with the ...

A.   11 January 2010: It is heart breaking for me to read your post. I feel for you. After being in a relationship that ended because of cheating, I have to say through my own experience, it is easy to forgive but it is really hard to forget. I bet there are days you... (read in full...)

Ladies, here's something for you. I want your opinions on this?

Q.   Is it true that you girls will never forget or always feel something for the guy that you "never got"? The one that you knew you loved but he never asked you to be in a relationship. Do you still think about him even after you're in a new ...

A.   9 January 2010: Unrequited love. One sided love affair. For me, yes it's true. There is one guy in college who never loved me back. At some point, he almost liked me and even said he thinks he wanted to live with me. But I chickened out fearing so much I would ... (read in full...)

Would he 'really' throw me out the window or was he joking?

Q.   Hello all and Happy new year! Here's my question. What does it mean when you ask a man that you are involved with what he wants to do/be with you and he answers, "If I told you I would scare you" and smiles...nicely. We were cuddled up on the couch ...

A.   9 January 2010: No, for me i think it's just a joke. I wouldn't bother much about it. However, if he gives you more jokes of this kind in the future, I would say please be cautious. Well it's true they might not mean it but it could be a clue of his violent ... (read in full...)

I truely love her and I need to own up to the truth! I'm just to shy and nervous to do so!

Q.   Hi, i'll try and make this short so i dont bore you. I feel like i;ve screwed up big time and if i dont do something soon thats it. basically i met a girl afew years ago, i liked her from the moment i got to know her and eventually fell in love with ...

A.   8 January 2010: No you're not an idiot, it's just because of the circumstances in the past that involves her that had made you this way. But don't let the past affect you like this. What's important is that you are still friends with this girl and you still have ... (read in full...)

He has feelings but doesn't want to get back together. How can I harness those feelings?

Q.   Hi, my boyfriend and I broke up a while ago. We've been separated for the past 6 months due to job relocation. He's back. We've seen each other. I haven't gotten over him. I can't tell if he's gotten over me but I do know he doesn't want to get ...

A.   3 January 2010: I totally agree with Emily. Those are the exact words I'd say too. If you want him back, it's either he will want to get back or you're gone. Don't give him what he wants from you. Make him commit before you give anything. If not, leave. I kn... (read in full...)

I told him I would call his home!

Q.   I was in a relationship with a married man and I thought I got pregnant and tried to contact him several times. So I called him a few times for about 5 days and he didn't answer. Then I sent him a message stating that I thought I was pregnant and I ...

A.   2 January 2010: I totally understand how you feel. It's not easy finding out you are pregnant when you can't reach the father in any way you can. For me, it is a valid point that you had thoughts of calling his house. If he cares about you at all, he will ... (read in full...)

Happy New Year!

Q.   HAPPY NEW YEAR to all readers, Aunts, etc.! It's been a very good year. Please don't be in agony if your New Year's eve love dream doesn't happen tonight-- it's just one long evening, and I get nervous, too, but try to be philosophical. Just r...

A.   1 January 2010: Happy New Year to everyone!!! ... (read in full...)

Its complicated...please some objective input?

Q.   Hi there I've searched for and read so many of the emails from guys in the similar situation to me. I can never find one "relationship situation" that is exact to my particular situation, but at the end of the day, the expected answers I will g...

A.   30 December 2009: I feel sad that you are in a situation like this. From your story, all I can think of is this woman is still in love with the ex no matter how you say it. It doesn't mean though that she is just purely using you and doesn't love you a bit. Ofcourse, ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants to me to date another man as well

Q.   Hello, I've got questions for those who have lived this certain way. My boyfriend and I are very turned on by the idea of me dating another guy LTR - long term relationship. We have a second bedroom that we would decorate and setup, the ...

A.   29 December 2009: I don't exactly know the title of that post but their story was that they had a threesome together and the boyfriend walked out crying as soon as the third party started doing sex with his girlfriend even though they have since been excited to do ... (read in full...)

Trying to get over a very recent break-up during the holidays...

Q.   Trying to get over a very recent break-up during the holidays...we were together about 9 mo, very close and believed we loved one another..we haven't been getting along on some things and we both agreed maybe we should go speak to a third party and ...

A.   26 December 2009: You know, sometimes it is easy to say we'll never contact an ex whom we love. But it is always easier said than done. I understand your feelings. I am also in the same situation. I have proven I can't stick to my word so many times. My advise i... (read in full...)

Thinking of getting back with my ex but he frequently doesn't answer my calls!

Q.   my ex and i might get back...we have been talking a little over 2 months. We will probably be meeting within the next few weeks..the thing that bothers me is its been about 5 or 6 times when it will be my turn to call and i do and there is no answer ...

A.   17 November 2009: I totally agree with Vivachacha, this has also worked for me. Although I have not gotten back with my ex but it has only proved my worth to him which I thought I'd lost. The last time I returned all the stuff my ex has and he returned mine, I ... (read in full...)

What does her text mean? Does it mean anything?

Q.   Heya fellas I recently broke up with my ex-girlfriend and need some help and advice. We met when we were both on vacation and stayed together for 10 days, then she left and came back to her country where 'luckily' i study there too. ...

A.   15 October 2009: I can tell as a girl that she still has some feelings for you. Most of the time, a girl will not bother or embarass herself if she doesn't have feelings for you anymore. I mean, why the effort to initiate contact? And even asking how you are ... (read in full...)

Guys: Do you still think of your ex when in relationship with someone else?

Q.   Just a qucik question to the guys who come here! Do you still think about your ex gf's or ex wives whilst you are in a relationship? If so how, when and why? Thanks :)...

A.   25 September 2009: I think it depends on the intensity of your ex's love for you and the time you spent together. Also, it depends on the person if he is the type to entertain such thoughts about you. Some people will savor this thought, some try their best to whisk ... (read in full...)

Why was he so intensely into me only to drop me later?

Q.   What is it with guys who come on so strong in the beginning, pursue you like crazy, get your hopes up so much and then just drop you like you never mattered at all? I met someone online and I seriously thought he had a lot of potential. The f...

A.   25 September 2009: Yes, I think OzBloke is right. It doesn't just happen to women but to men as well. On my side, I have seen guys who do that to girls but equally, girls have done that too. There is no universal rule to that. Something we can be certain about is... (read in full...)

Obsessed with checking up on her...

Q.   Hello everyone, I've been broken up with my last girlfriend for about a month now. We had a relationship for somehwhat more than a year. Her reason to break up with me was because I was being immature, although im 18 and starting my first year...

A.   23 September 2009: Hey, you're not alone...I also have the same obsession with my ex that I find it so hard to stop. But right now, I seem to be succeeding not looking at it. How do I do that? Everytime I have the urge to go to his page, I remember what he has done... (read in full...)

I'm falling in love with my friend's boyfriend... what do I do?

Q.   Hi my names jemma. My other best friend has got a boyfriend and so have I, we have been with our boyfriends for the same amount of time, 7 months, But here's the thing, im falling out of love with my boy friend, and im falling in love with her bo...

A.   21 September 2009: Girl, you sound naive to me. But let me tell you, it is really very disrespectful to betray your friend..even enemies we don't sleep with their partners. Put yourself in her shoes, would you want your friend to do this behind your back? How ... (read in full...)

He was so rude on while texting me but was the opposite in person...

Q.   Hi, i am just confused a bit..if anyone can help. I saw my ex the other day which at first I tried to avoid because I am still too hurt about our break-up and upset that he ignored my IMs and text messages and even my last email. I really feel he...

A.   18 September 2009: Your ex is of the same type as mine. They definitely know what to say on text, chat or whatever using high tech but when you see them, it was as if they had an amnesia and totally acts like a different person. Mine doesn't look depressed but he... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin getting married with questions! Like, why do people call sex "lovemaking"?

Q.   Hi, I just had a few questions about sex. I'm getting married in a couple weeks... and I kinda feel embarrassed admitting this but... I'm a virgin. :/ I would just like some tips and stuff.. I wouldn't dare ask my mom these questions because ...

A.   18 September 2009: I am just answering based on the title of your question: In my own experience love making has become literal. Believe me, I met my boyfriend and at first I wasn't that attracted to him but I am comfortable being with him and I enjoy sharing so... (read in full...)

In your opinion whats the best birth control method?

Q.   Okay so I am an 18 year old female i have never been on birth control before and was wondering if any one knew how to determine which form is the best for you any suggestions? I was thinking of trying the patch but don't know if its effective or not ...

A.   16 September 2009: You want to know the answer to your question? Unfortunately, the best surest birth control is ABSTINENCE. Nothing can beat it. It is 100% guaranteed from pregnancy and STD, no cost and no side effects. But if you find this impossible in yo... (read in full...)

My LONG story and current situation!

Q.   Right this is a VERY long one.. Back in October last year i was seeing another girl casually, i had been single for a long time and well we began talking and a few things lead to another we never slept together though i told her i didn't want sex,...

A.   15 September 2009: Hey, i really feel for you. I know its hard to let go of people we love and wonder why especially the mean ones are the ones we can't let go. I really don't know what to say to you as I am also in the same situation. But from my understanding... (read in full...)

He says we don't have a future together, but he won't let me go

Q.   Dear Friends[would really want guys to answer this] I have a situation here. I am dating [3 months now]this guy of arabic origin. He is 25 and we met on facebook. I am a 27 yr old indian girl. Things happened slowly in the beginning. It all s...

A.   12 September 2009: Pls send me a private msg, we have the same case. I would like to share with you my case in private....... (read in full...)

I miss him and I really miss the sex...

Q.   Hi, I recently broke up with this guy (about a little more than a month now). I miss him and I really miss the sex. I do feel horny at times but don't know what to do. Any advice......

A.   11 September 2009: Well, you are not alone. I feel the same way too even if I had been broken up with my ex since April 26, 2009. I don't know about others opinion but I saw my ex on July 11 and he wanted us to sleep together right there and then. Yet I refused. ... (read in full...)

Why was my ex so nasty to me?

Q.   I am so fed up at the minute and can't understand why my ex is being so nasty to me. We recently split up after an arguement and never spoke about it afterwards. About two weeks before we split up someone had left a voice mail on my phone telling me ...

A.   4 September 2009: Oh, that's absolutely true. I recently broke up with a cheating bf and I whenever I confronted him calmly about it, I noticed he develops a shortness of breathing and gets angry at me. I mean, why are they like that? My best guess is, they can... (read in full...)

It was my boyfriends idea to have a threesome but he flipped out when me and the other guy started having sex!

Q.   My bf of 4 years has been asking me for a 3 sum for a long time, I agreed to have a ffm 3 sum if he would have a mmf 3 sum for me. Since we thought that if we gave in first the other would back out we opted for a group thing with another ...

A.   4 September 2009: Personally, I still could not fathom the thought of group sex with someone I love. I only speak for myself as I know for some people, this is okay.. I think your boyfriend has in his mind that it would be exciting to see you have sex with someone ... (read in full...)

So my FWB wants me to get pregnant. I'm not interested in having kids. What is going on here?

Q.   I've been in a friend with benefits "situation" with a guy for 2 years now, and so far everything has been good. Last month he said he wanted me to stop taking my birth control so I can get pregnant. I don't know what 2 think. Is he seriously ...

A.   2 September 2009: Regardless if he is serious or not, do what you like and that is to not get pregnant. Stick with the pills and don't ever miss it. He cannot do anything anyway.... (read in full...)

She's really sending me mixed signals and I'm confused! Any advice on what she's thinking?

Q.   OK, so i met this girl a few months back, and I fell for for her very fast. She knew how i felt about her, and for a month and a half or so things were extremely perfect! we never fought, and always enjoyed being around each other. About a month ago ...

A.   26 July 2009: I have two guesses why this is happening: 1. She might be really falling for you but she is trying to control herself as she just ended a relationship and is scared to gamble and get hurt again. 2. She realized that she is still not over the p... (read in full...)

What does sex mean to you as a person? Please, honest answers only!

Q.   SEX...what does it mean to you? Just curious to find how different people respond to the matter. To me sex is sex. Its fun. I don't find it overly intimate whereas to me a cuddle is. I can't get enough of it sometimes. I never refer to sex as ma...

A.   22 July 2009: I share the same view with Sincerely Yours. I cannot imagine sex with someone I don't love. I have tried that with my boyfriend before whom I didn't love that time and everytime we do it, I feel used and have thoughts of just disappearing fro... (read in full...)

Is her new guy a bandaid or is she playing mindgames with me?

Q.   So, my girlfriend and I of two years broke up. the last year we were living together. We got into a fight and she left the house didn't come home that night. first time she ever did that in a fight. everything was going good the weeks before. I ...

A.   4 July 2009: I agree more with our anonymous aunt here, I really think your ex wants you back and is in fact playing mind games with you. The only problem is that, she cannot live without a man by her side thats why she sticks to this new boyfriend. But i ... (read in full...)

I cant stop thinking about my ex-girl. Should I act on it?

Q.   I broke up with my girlfriend after 3 years of ups and downs. I really loved her, but I felt it was the best thing to do given how she was treating me at the time. Funny thing is, I can't stop thinking about her. I tried to date other girls in the ...

A.   3 July 2009: The problem is...she has a boyfriend now. Just email her a very short note to ask her how she is. No pouring out of feelings. That is if you can control yourself not to expect for a reply or any initiative from her. Coz if you email and at the back ... (read in full...)

Help, I need to know... Is my boyfriend cheating on me?

Q.   I have found a text message on my boyfriend's mobile phone. From a woman who has cropped up many a time in our past 2 years together. it said 'i miss you, i want you, I need you'. Is he cheating? Should I confront him? Is there any way that thi...

A.   29 June 2009: O my God, this happened to me before and I swear I regretted what I had done and if i had the chance to go back, i would've done a different thing... First thing is, your boyfriend might be cheating on you as you have caught him before saying th... (read in full...)

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