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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend now for 7 years. Around this time last year we we're going thru a rough patch. A uni friend (mr x) at the same time had just split up from his girlfriend. One night whilst out with friends, mr x confessed to me that he had always really fancied me. I was really flattered as I had always found him attractive. We ended up sleeping together. At the time I didn't feel guilty because I felt my boyfriend wasn't paying me much attention and was upset about that, so sleeping with mr x made me feel wanted. I had never cheated on my boyfriend up until this point and can't understand why I gave in to mr x. Every time I met up with mr x, I ended up sleeping with him (mostly after drinking). It's now been a year since I first cheated with mr x and we have slept together in total of about 10 times. Just the other night I went to see mr x and told him I wanted to stop. He understood as he said he'd never cheat on a partner. This angered me as iI thought 'well why did you allow yourself to let me?' I love my boyfriend so much I don't know why I kept cheating. I feel so bad about myself right now. My boyfriend still pays me no attention and a part of me still yearns to be with mr x (even tho I actually would never want a relationship with him) as for a while he makes me feel good about myself. I don't know how to make this situation better. Any Suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (17 April 2006):
 Well I think you have to address the problems in your relationship with your bf if you want to make things better. Obviously Mr X gives you something you bf doesnt be it sexually or emotionally and this is why you keep cheating.
You said that the first time you cheated your bf wasnt making you feel wanted and i wonder if that is still the case. I think you have to be honest with yourself and have a good hard look at your current relationship and ask yourself if this is what you want because something somewhere is missing. You may love your bf but is he fufilling your needs and desires? He is the one that should be making you feel good about yourself and if he isnt that is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
When you have decided what is wrong with your current relaionship you either need to set about addressing the problem or, if you feel the problem is too serious to be fixed consider ending the relationship. Hope that helps.
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