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I cheated my husband and don’t know how to stop it and it’s getting over the head now ..

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 September 2019) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 September 2019)
A female United States age 30-35, *egha1212 writes:

I am 29 Indian living in US past 2 years after marriage. I had a arrange marriage in India and came to US with my husband.

After 2 months of my marriage I was in US with my husband alone and spend time alone when he was in office .(cause I can’t work in US due to visa )

I made few friends around and my neighbors is a 2 Dutch bachelors and I liked talking with them and he used to help me in gardening. We 3 were good friends for a month and one day we were drinking wine for his birthday and he started to seduce me , I was surprised but I didn’t resist ( don’t know why ) I started kissing him back and it went sexual and into threesome ! It felt good then cause I didn’t care about it and think much just enjoying the moment with 2 young well build guys !

I came home and I felt very guilty and I wanted to stop but it continued the next day and day after and it’s been close to 1.6 years and I can’t stop now cause it’s addicting and it’s getting me into trouble cause he is introducing me to his couple of friends and it’s like I am cheating with 4 guys with my husband and it’s getting over my head and I am not able to control the situation! What started with friendship ended up with 4some and I am not able to stop it cause to be frank my body needs it and my mind doesn’t !

Please help me get out of this mess !!!

[Mod note: post originates from India, not the US]

View related questions: kissing, threesome

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (12 September 2019):

mystiquek agony auntI'll be honest I went ahead and posted this but I agree with youcannotbeserious, I don't think this is real. It just sounds waaay too much like something from a cheap porn movie. Let me tell you something, if its real then you are in way over your head. I want to believe that you aren't that cheap with your body so let's go with the "this isn't real" theory.

Do something with your time sweetie. Join a club, exercise or volunteer your time.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (12 September 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntHa ha!

This is a fantasy you have invented because you are bored. Bored girl, 2 hunky young neighbours, one helping with the gardening before seducing her over a bottle of wine, then it turning into a free-for-all?

Story line hundreds of cheap porn movies.

Cliché, cliché, cliché.

You need to find something to occupy you, my dear. Do some voluntary work. Take some courses. Learn a new skill. You have a good imagination so perhaps take up creative writing?

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (11 September 2019):

Fatherly Advice agony auntWhat can we advise you? You made a bad choice. You say you don't like that choice but you continue to make it.

One thing you could do is stop making that bad choice. You can refuse the invitations to sex. You can choose to be faithful to your marriage.

Another thing you could do is you could choose to be honest. You could confess your misdeeds to your husband. That will probably lead to either you stopping having sex with the young men, or it could lead to the other option . . .

You could divorce your husband and continue to have sex with your admirers. Or maybe someone else.

Finally you could continue to lie to your husband, continue to have sex with whomever you want, continue to feel bad about it. You could continue to pretend that you have no control. You can wait until the truth comes out. You could wait until your husband learns about you and makes one of the choices for you.

Really it is your choice, today. Another day someone may take some of the choices from you. Choose well. In truth your happiness depends on how well you choose.

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