A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:about 4 years ago i met this lad and fell head over heels in love with him i flirted my ass off but he was still a virgin and wouldnt make a move .We were both very stuborn and wouldnt make the first move, Now i live with his bestfriend who has been my bf for 3.5 years but he has changed and started treating me nasty dont get me wrong i do love him but not half as much as the first one.Now the one that was just a friend is my lover and he is more affecitonate and loving than anyone i know, he said he loves me the same and he said ive waited 4 years what is another few aslong as we will be together but how do i dump my bf without hurting him majorly????? because i do like him but only as a friend and i cant tell him ive been sleeping with his best friend because he's been being an ass with me and is to possesive. pleae help
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best friend, flirt, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 If you care about how hurt your b/f will be , then you should not leave. You cannot just say goodbye and just walk out and like nothing happens.Maybe, he might not be hurt that bad. It is only your perceptions.He may blamed his best friend for your leaving.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (19 January 2008):
 Your right, you can't tell him your sleeping with the best friend because he's being an ass. That would be a lie. You're sleeping with the best friend because you made a choice to cheat. His being an ass has absolutely no ability to cause sex as a reaction. Just as he has to take responsibility for his behaviors, you do as well.
If I were his best friend, I'd be really worried about being with you. Your behavior shows a willingness to behave in a way that can cause harm to someone else.
Now the proper way to have handled this is end a relationship before you begin another one. There is really no way to tell him without causing hurt. You're going to be with his best friend, weather he finds you all ready are, or finds that your with him after, he's still going to feel betrayed, not just by you, but his friend as well. The least you can do after making these decisions is tell him the truth. He deserves that much.
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