A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,I find it really hard to orgasm through vaginal intercourse, and by hard i mean practically impossible. I can cum fine through personal masturbation or if my boyfriend goes down on me, its just the actual sex that doesnt make me orgasm.Its not my partner as its been the same with all the people i've slept with so i guess it must be me.I cum in the way that i produce creamy liquid and i can sometimes feel my vagina tense a little repeatedly however it doesnt feel like im fully cuming like i do when i do the afor mentioned things.I cant talk to my boyfriend about it because ive faked it for so long now just so he didnt feel bad that i cant suddenly tell him, i'd feel awful :(Help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to let you all know, ive finally told my boyfriend this problem and he's been so supportive! Thankyou!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/discuss-sex-skills
Ah, good ol Cosmopolitin magazine....try this article tips by a man for talking to your boyfriend about sexual technique.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI swear every time i get into a new sexual relationship i wont fake it but i just cant help it, its like i have a need to please people...
How can i go about trying different things and practising now when he thinks hes already doing it fine :|
It'd crush him, i promise.
Thanks so much for the advice you've already given me but more would be much appriciated :D
Thanks!
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): Well, I can understand your frustration, however, the first thing you have to do is stop faking orgasms and start telling your boyfriend what feels good, give him some direction.
I know all women are different, but we all are physically able to have vaginal orgasms, we just have to find the strokes and the spots that do the trick. And the biggest problem with having one of those is focusing on your boyfreinds pleasure while he is inside of you instead of focusing simply on the sensations in your very own body and getting out of your head.
I also find that a lot of men like to play let's change positions hundred times and sometimes that is more of a distraction than a help, it is the repeated movements over and over again faster then slower but hitting the same spots that make me able to have a vaginal orgasm and for me it can be very intense, more so than just a clitoral one. Both are nice.
Some women like myself cannot tolerate direct clitoral stimulation (that is a lot of information to reveal about myself, I usually don't speak about this with strangers, but what the hell it is anonymous and I hope I am helping) because it is too sensitive and almost painful, so for me
oral sex is a type of foreplay than the full deal for me.
But we all have our likes and dislikes.
But to say women can't have vaginal orgasms with direct clitoral stimulation is not true, it helps, but not every time does is it have to be done at the same time.
Possibly for you you could discover through masturbation on your own how to have one, and then share what you know about yourself with your partner. You have to teach each other about your bodies. Sometimes practicing a new position will do it, there are some books at the bookstore by experts that are pretty good on the subject, pick one up and practice! And most of all relax. Lovemaking is about the process and the sensations, not about the end goal, so don't put so much mental pressure on yourself to have the big O through intercourse and it will happen!
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A
male
reader, netcruiser72  +, writes (19 June 2009):
Your are simply normal as most woman. Simple in and out intercourse will not do the job most of the time for woman. It is very gratifying for the male, believe me, I know, I like to fuck my wife as hard as she is able to take it and really enjoy all the moaning that comes with it, but unless you are stimulating your clit during intercourse, in one way or another, it can be almost impossible at times to have an orgasm. The missionary position is one way to accomplish that. It gives my wife the best of both worlds. I can thrust in and out as much and as hard as she wants it or simply grind up against her clitoris with my pelvic bone while still having my penis go in and out of her vagina. This mutual stimulation causes both of us to have an orgasm at the same time sometimes. It is very explosive. Also, try getting on top of him while he is sitting down on a couch. You have full contol. You can ride him as fast and as hard as you want and also grind up against him where you are stimulating your clit until you have an orgasm. Now, if he happens to cum before you do, that's okay, it happens. Just have him finish you off manually or orally until you reach your orgasm. There is no need for you not to get off also. Just need to experiment and find the way that touches that magic spot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Tons and tons of women cannot orgasm through soley vaginal/penis intercourse because the clitoris is not being stimulated in anyway.
Try doggy or other such position so that both can be done!
~SY.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): why not do it in places that stimulate your mind more? i find it difficult to reach the peak when I am comfortable in bed. i don't fake it and i confess it to my partner and we always tried some ways.then one time we did it in the car at the parking lot at midnight. I sat on him at the driver's seat! it took us just 3 minutes and I was like a rocket!from then on, we always do it and I never missed reaching the peak.
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Firstly, Desesperada is right, try asking your current boyfriend to play with you some more, until you are not thinking about anything except reaching an orgasm. It doesn't matter how long you take, it's worth it. But also, try not to get too fixated on having an orgasm through intercourse. Just enjoy whatever he does.If you can come through masturbation, you can do so through intercourse. You know exactly what you need to do, how hard, and how long for when you use your fingers, vibrator, dildo or whatever. So imagine your boyfriends penis is doing the same job, and move your body against him to get the same feeling. Don't fake it, an experienced guy will know that your vagina and pelvis is not contracting. So put some concentrated effort into it, make sure the base of his penis and his pelvic bone is grinding against your clitoris and pelvic bone, and enjoy the ride.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 June 2009):
 Stop faking.
Really that is all there is to it. Otherwise you will end up with boring second rate sex. Why? Because the guy you have sex with thinks he rocks your world when all he did was tickle it..
Have your BF ( or yourself) stimulate your clitoris while having sex.
It is actually very common for women to not be able to have orgasm to regular intercourse. But, it can be taught. Do some "googling" about G-spots and PRACTISE!
Also have plenty of foreplay and an orgasm or two for you before you "rock" his world.
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A
female
reader, desesperada  +, writes (18 June 2009):
 What position do you guys do regularly? I find that missionary halps me orgasm better than any other position because his pelvis is stimulating the clitoris and at the same time he is going in vaginally. I have only had a few vaginal orgasms..its really hard you just have to be SUPER turned on before you have sex..I dont know how open you two are but maybe watching a porn together would get you hot enough to experience an orgasm during sex.
The key is to be so turned on that you can not wait any longer! lots of fourplay ;)
Hope this helps!
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