A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone this has been bugging me for a while now I can't orgasm even with a vibrator I have tried everything creams dildos every time me and my boyfriend have sex I have to pretend I have orgamsed just to keep him happy or he thinks he's useless in bed even when he isn't what should I do any suggestions would be greatly appreciated thank you
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female
reader, Dolly75  +, writes (12 March 2012):
 Definitely discuss this, nicely, with your partner - preferably not while in bed or during intimate moments, so that you both can focus without thinking it was something you just did or just about to do.
Like others have said or perhaps you may have read elsewhere, really take the time to figure out for yourself what you like, what feels good, what feels amazing, how you're feeling when you find the spot (usually when you're most relaxed) etc.
This is nothing to be ashamed of, and being open about it, exploring for yourself, and communicating with your partner, is probably the best thing you can do to overcome this.
Another thing, sexual intimacy doesn't always have to be about have to be about achieving orgasm every single time. Part of intimacy is closeness, and the closer you two are in all aspects, the better the love...
Good luck! :)
A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (9 March 2012):
 I forgot to mention the website "Clitoral" (wish I got commission), which is by women, for women (I sneaked a look!) and has lots of advice about orgasms and masturbation and lots more besides.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (8 March 2012):
 Not every woman can achieve orgasm from penetration. Most can from stimulation to the clitoris though (which is on the outside).
Read up on the various erogenous spots and find YOURS.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (8 March 2012):
Are you on any medication that might inhibit your sex drive?If not, then you are trying too hard and stressing over it. Relax and find at least an hour, better two or more, to yourself with nobody around.Lock the bathroom door just to be sure and have a long soak in the bath - shower is no good!Luxuriate in foam and aromatic oils, and examine your body to find what turns you on. There is no pressure and no rush; just keep on topping up the hot water so you are comfy.Play with anything and everything that you feel like touching and if you have a detachable shower head over the bath as well, open your legs widely, part your lower lips and let the water from the shower head play on your clit. Get the temperature setting right first, though!No shower head?Make a "V"-shape with your legs and get your clit right under the mixer tap; same warning about the temperature, because you really do not want to scald or freeze your important little places......
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 March 2012):
 are you trying to orgasm from penetration of the vagina?
that will probably never work...
for me I need to have my clitoris stimulated either by my fingers, a tongue, water from my shower head or the vibrator resting ON the CLIT not IN the vagina.
have you ever gotten close?
oh and you must stop lying to the bf and explain to him about female orgasm.... less than 25-30% of the female population will have orgasms from intercourse...
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