A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey,Me and my fiance have been together for about three and a half years. Over the past few months I have noticed that she has been keeping her phone with her at all times even when we are at home. If it is not with her she has deleted her text messages. She has been talking to a "friend" from back home and she won't let me talk to him. She knows I am very protective of her because of my past relationships and told me not to worry he is only a friend. I was able to get ahold of her phone the other night and found out she has made plans to meet up with him on a trip I am paying for. I don't know what to do. I love her more than anything and don't want to lose her. I have told her before if she ever wants to leave me just let me know and I will leave. I would rather her just tell me than her drag it on and watch me suffer. I hate being the bad guy especially since I am not the one doing the cheating. What should I do about these feelings that she is cheating?Any help is greatly appreciated.Thanks
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male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (22 January 2010):
 Trust me from personal experience bro! DO NOT KEEP TIPPING YOUR HAND!!! DO DO DO DO NOT NOT NOT NOT!!!! STOP NOW!!! STOP!!!! Do you think u understand me bro? okay, I just finished going throught this exact situation, your going to drive yourself into a psychotic frenzy, you need to NOT!!! speak another word of it to her, ever again! don't act suspicious, don't even fidge with the thought of it, or do anything that could even maybe make her think your suspect, act like you are the stupidest, dumbest, most gullable boyfriend on the face of the planet, but be silently watching, listening, and waiting, she will begin to not feel so in danger, and she will Fuck Up!! now you need to make sure you can detect when this starts happening! do whatever needed to check her texts! but dont get popped, she will fuck up, and you will find the texts! now is my next question, the one which i never asked myself! do you really want to find those texts? I would have just rather told her I wanted space, then disapeared, because I wasnt ready for the texts I found, I thought I was! are you?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): Female reader anonymous' idea about [telling her you have a feeling about her meeting up with that guy] is perfect. You should do that. If she lies, I think it is likely she is cheating, or at least planning on it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): Something isnt right if her habits have changed with her phone. Thats how i discovered my partner was up to something. Tell her you have a feeling she plans to meet up with him. If she says no she isnt meeting him, obviously you will know thats a lie, so dont fund her trip. It may all be innocent, if you are protective as you say, because of past relationships, then your partner may be trying to play down their friendship because she doesnt want you turning it into a big issue. But common sense tells me if that were the case she would be tranparent in her dealings with him and be happy for you to adopt him as a friend. Either way if she lies about meeting him i would think very carefully about funding her trip.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 January 2010):
Hmm. To be meeting with him on your money but not allow you to talk to him is a bit suspicious. She may not be cheating yet, but she might be looking at the possibility. Sadly, you need to wait it out and see what happens. If something does, there will be other changes you notice. Has she actually told you about meeting him yet? Because if she hasn't, that's also a red flag.
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