A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: thought i really knew a guy i worked with. we got on really well and i liked him a lot but ive found out hes basically lied to me for the past 2 years. ive helped him enormously and stopped him getting sacked-helped him with major financial problems but all along he lied to me.-he said he had a lot of money invested but was always skint,had a sports car-worked at harods as a personal bodyguard-wild stories all false lies and many many more things i knew from the start some stuff he said didnt ring true but also a manageress whos a close friend at work also knew he was a liar.anyway when i confronted him all hell broke loose. he told me i was a bad friend and to delete his personal number and now im only a work colleague !!! i cant believe it and im not even the one in the wrong. he now ignores me at work-wont call and has basically forgotten me after everything !! what should i do was i a bad friend :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): People who do these things usually turn out to ne Narcissists, or Sociopaths.
Thes are people who nuture, charm and manipulate people by getting to know them, their ways, good points, soft and vulnerable points etc.
They are only ever doing this ecasue they believe that others are there only for their own benefits. Whether it be money, sex, or just ego boosting and adoration. They will cleverly prime, and charm the friend, love, neighbour, whoever,purely to acheieve the things they can obtain from that person.
It seems that this man has done this with you, taken advantage of your good, trusting nature. When you sussed him, adn confronted him, he went nuts (another sociopathic trait)he projected the guilt back on to you, this is designed to make you feel guilty for doubting adn ot trusting him. This in turn makes you not want to confront another lie, for fear of appearing desperate, weak, etc.
You have not done anything wrong. He will never admit to doing anything wrong himself,he will leech off you for whatever you can give him, until you've had anough of his ways and tehn he will move on to his next victim, he probably already has another victim in tow who is being manipulated the same way.
The only way to ever get rid of these people is to cut all losses AND CONTACT.
Do not give him anything else, not money, sex, not even a backward glance!!!!!
After dealaing with these people you will feel drained, conned, manipulated, confused. There are no good things you will feel. Any good feelings he ever gave you were false and insincere.
Move on from this,take it as a laearning experience, you've done well to not crack up by now, move on before you do!!!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 You were a good friend but he did not need your friendship- he needed someone gullible and manipulable to mooch off . Now that you wised up ( better late than never ) he has no use for you any more, and he is probably moving on to some other target.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 November 2011):
 what a gift he gave you.
YOU were not a bad friend. He was a LIAR and is UNTRUSTWORTHY
when caught liars get defensive.
be glad he was just a friend... I'm divorcing one of these liars now...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): Thank your lucky stars he's out of your life. You were a good friend he was a user.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): As people have explained. NO, it is not your fault. This man flat out lied to you.Don't you think he should be the one feeling humiliated?Why are you the one questioning yourself. Your lack of self-esteem is what got you here in the first place. You were too nice, ignored things that didn't make sense and let yourself be taken advantage of.I think you need to forget about how he is treating you right now (heck tell other people at work about his lies, you've got the upper hand here!). What you need to work on is yourself. You need to see a counselor and build your confidence. You cannot rely on one person for friendship so heavily, you shouldn't allow people to take advantage of you like this and you shouldn't feel this bad about the situation (thinking its your fault???!!!).All the best...
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