A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A senior added me on msn and started talking to me after orientation and things were going platonic for a month or so before we started going out on dates. But he doesn't ever want to be seen with me in public and is afraid of meeting our schoolmates. About 3 months later he admitted to me that he was attached. I was so upset that he kept it from me but after he told me his relationship with his girlfriend wasn't going well, I felt sorry for him. He asked me to be his underground lover and I actually agreed to because I really really love him a lot. Yet at the same time I am bugged by my conscience that he is attached. In any case he is always blowing hot and cold with me. Yet sometimes he tells me he will leave his girlfriend and openly be with me. Nowadays, we don't even go on dates anymore but I go over to his house. I've been crying every now and then thinking about the lies he told me yet everytime I'm determined to leave him, I can't bear to. What should I do?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (9 December 2010):
 I think you need to reevaluate your sense of morals and values. It is not too young an age to figure out what you believe is right and wrong to do in life.
For instance, many people believe in "The Golden Rule" and try as best as they can to live by it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Golden_Rule
You know it's wrong to date a guy who is attached, and you should never want to be some one's dirty secret. Who the hell cares if his GF and him are having problems? He surely can solve them by getting a new "hidden" girl friend.... The guy is using you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): It isn't right to secretly date someone who has a girlfriend. It's causing you unhealthy stress and might possibly damage your social reputation and friendships you share. Leave him and wait until he knows what he really wants before you take him back. Why does he stay with her... ask him that... why stay and hide something on the side. Is it a legitimate reason?
-T.V.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): You shouldn't be with a boy that doesn't want to be with you the way you deserve. Leave him and if he really love you and is not useing you he will leave his girlfriend and be with you openly. I don't think that's a good idea though cause the saying "once a cheated always a chester" may not always be true but it is true most of the time. And you don't want to be in his real girlfriends position. So I suggest to move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): So you think it's ok for him to be cheating? What about he gets bored of you, and starts seeing another "Underground girlfriend". Stop seeing this guy, he's a player, plain and simple. You shouldn't encourage this sort of actions.
If he's not happy in his current relationship, he should have ended it, before he started seeing anyone else. The guy is a low life!
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