A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have ben involved with a married man for 6 years. We are both married. I have 2 children in high school. I have told my husband that our marriage is over once the kids leave home - we are civil. My lover's children are college graduates but still depend on their parents financially and emotionally. We have been all over the world together. We feel as though we belong together - at the right time. Meanwhile, I can't lie any more - it's changing my soul. I want to come clean. He does not. In fact he is planning a trip with his wife to see their son in Asia. I cannot go through that overseas trip just the two of them. I want to write an anonymous letter telling his wife the truth. I know it will be the end of the affair for both of us, but at least the truth is out. I cannot live like this anymore. Should I write this letter?
View related questions:
affair, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 No, don't write the letter. Do you want the man to come to you because he loves you, or do you want him to come to you because you destroyed his marriage?
This guy is supposed to be your soulmate. Soulmates find it hard to be apart. You did your bit, you've talked to your husband and are arranging a way out. Your "soulmate" obviously doesn't feel as strongly as you do. Sounds to me that he's very happy with his wife.
What happens if you write the letter, she forgives him and he dumps you. Yes the truth is out. You will have hurt your husband and this man's wife, for nothing. You knew he was married when you went into the affair. How would you have felt if 4years ago, somebody had written such a letter to your husband before you got a chance to talk to him?
Your hurting, but you choose to go with a married man. Now as you can see, no matter what you do, you have "won" nothing. Why do you need to come clean to his wife, is she your friend or something, or you just want to make sure he's married is destroyed and she gets hurt after she knows about his betrayal.
You hurt your husband, now you want to hurt the wife. All for what? If the man loves you, then he will arrange to be with you. Forcing him this way, is not a sign of love, it just reminds me that "misery likes company".
All in all, you and this married man seem to like causing pain and hurt, and that's what your future life will be built on, whether he decides that your what he wants or whether he stays with his wife that probably loves him.
A
male
reader, steve jones +, writes (29 August 2010):
NO you should not, there is nothing to gain from you doing this, your only slim option is to try to make him see the light. Only then will you tell if he feels the same way as you, im sorry to say this but from the outside looking in it is asif you are a lot more involved than what he is i could be wrong but the time is coming when you need to test his commitment to you, also you owe it to your husband to make the break.
...............................
|
