A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Unfortunately when I was pregnant with our son my husband took it upon himself to seek out other people on craigslist and sent private pictures of himself to one of them, well I found out and confronted him. He swears that he never met with any of them and never physically cheated. I believed him but things were never fully resolved and I couldn't deal. He wanted to act like it never happened and I wanted to talk about it, so I left we were separated for about a month. He begged me to come back and I did. I felt I owed it to my son to give our family a second chance. We talked a lot while I was gone about everything, why he did it, what made him think it was okay and about our relationship and I thought we had resolved the issue. But now I can't help but think sometimes what if he's still doing it and I just haven't caught him yet? Will he do it again? What will I do if he does? Can people change? There's a million unanswered questions. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (1 April 2010):
 Youre welcome. I hope every thing works out ok for you x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you!
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A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (31 March 2010):
The fact is, you lost your trust in him and thats not something he can regain with a few contrite conversations. It can take years to rebuild trust. Even worse that it happened at a time when you needed him to be there for you and you were probably feeling quite vunerable. Talk about kicking you when your down, eh?
You will probably have feelings of doubt for a long time, its perfectly natural. The best way to deal with it is to talk to him about it when these feelings resurface. Its no good looking at him and thinking hes a heel, then snapping his head off for little things...with him not knowing what hes done wrong. If you explain that you are having a bad day because of what he did...or a bad week! Atleast then he knows why you are less than happy with him and he can reassure you.
Of couse he will want to move on from the trouble and hope hes fixed things with you. But its not that easy and you have to make him understand that. He might do it again. Who can tell. If he does i get the feeling you wont be so understanding again. Tell him that. And ask him a million questions. You are his wife, you have a right to know what hes doing and how he feels about you. If you arent reassured theres always a key logger!! All the best
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