A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have recently broke up with my boyfriend - he says he gets to a certain stage in a relationship and cant carry on cos the love is not strong enough. He would like us to be friends cos I have "been a diamond" to him, but wants me to heal. I want him back, so I asked if he is 100 per cent sure that there is not another chance- he refuses to answer this. What does that mean?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (13 April 2011):
 It could mean two things. The first is that he's afraid to commit. He doesn't get to that "love is there" stage because he doesn't want to let himself get there, as it means a loss of his sense of control, and it means that he would have to commit or work towards that commitment.
The other thing is that he just hasn't found the woman he loves, and he's letting you know that although he feels for you, he doesn't love you.
I wouldn't press him in regards to being 100% sure. I think the only thing that might knock some sense into him is the knowledge that when he waffles, he sabotages himself into watching the woman he loves go with someone else.
Don't waste any more time on him. If he wants you, he will make the move. Don't be "friends" with him either, because that will hinder your ability to move on and keep you pining and hanging on to someone who doesn't have the same feelings you do.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): It could mean that he is not sure how he will feel in the future or it could mean that yes he is 100 % done and he doesn't want to hurt you anymore than you already are by answering such a blunt question and reiterating what already has been stated.
You are trying to find hope in anything that he says. And if you search hard enough, as you can see, you can make something out of anything. But the bottom line is that he is done. He wants to not be involved anymore.
I know that is so painful and hard to accept when you love someone. You are better off just accepting this, grieving on your own, staying strong and little by little, day by day, moving on.
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