A
male
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:I am a 13 year old boy and i am worried that i am turning gay. dont get me wrong, i dont hate gay people i just dont want to be gay. When i think about penises i get an erection. when i masturbate and i think about penises, i get an orgasm much more faster than when i think about women. i get turned on, say, seeing lumps on male trousers and hands down male trousers and torso's, but i also get turned on if i think about females sexually. I am really worried about this so can you please answer soon.My second worry is a simple one. when erect my penis will angle upwards. not greatly but slightly. i think this is because i used to masturbate angling my hand upwards. i am wondering weather or not if i angle my hand downwards - as i masturbate the conventional way - would it put it back straight and if not are there any other ways.I'm sorry that this is such along post but these are worrys of mine.
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male
reader, greeman3406  +, writes (19 November 2009):
I was 13 once too and if i was in the shower with other boys i did look i felt shame for it i felt gay and I hated feeling that way. I also know one gay male who is open now who I asked about this later in life when i was about 16 he said that he felt the same way but even as a man i get that feeling once in a while, so do some of my friends including married ones. there is nothing wrong with it, what i did to suppress those thoughts is (this is hard for anybody much less a 13 year old) but remember you are in control of your self, some times it dosent seem like it but it's true. I learned this after many emberrising erections I learnd to supress them, but in suppressing things you need to allow for proper release when socially acceptable.in truth I belive all males and maybe even all females think about it once and a while, it's not a bad thing
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): you are not gay some straight males have these feelings some dont its all about how you are as a person but just because you get these feelings does not mean your gay if you are physically attracted to men and want to have sex with men in real life then i soppose that would make you gay but if you like girls and want to have sex with them then your not gay.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): I think i'm having the same problem,i'm 13 as well. i don't know, i went out with a girl once but never a guy, i want to, but i feel that no 1 will accept me for who i am
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Your are a little young to know,yet. But when i was your age, I used to get an erection of thinking about sexuality itself. Girls on girls, guys on guys, guys on girls, It all turned me on. But as I got older my feels straightened up.
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A
male
reader, dannabo +, writes (12 February 2009):
 You are much too young to know if you are gay. I also get an erection when I see penises. I love to see penises, boys or men. I am not gay at all. You are so young and easily sexually excited just at the thought or sight of a penis or naked woman. Don't worry. My cousin and I played with each others penises when we were young and had so much fun and pleasure. We are both amrried and have kids now. I have evven gotten erections seeing my sons penises. However I have never gone or wanted to go further.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): I know exactly how you are feeling. It is extremely confusing. I have always been attracted to both men and women. Sometimes I think about men when I masturbate, sometimes I think about women. I have had sex with both, and I enjoy both. I don't know what I prefer. I am 24 now and I have struggled with this confusion for a long time.
I have never been in a relationship with a woman, but I have been in relationships with men. I would like to try a relationship with a woman, but I am afraid I would like it more than a man. And I too, do not want to be gay.
Have you seen the South Park episode "2 guys naked in a hot tub"? I think you would get a lot out of it. The moral of the episode is basically "we're all a little bit gay". There is a scale of 1 to 10, from totally straight to totally gay. And most people fall somewhere along that scale. Sexuality is not a black/white yes/no type of thing. Its complicated.
And IF ( that's a big IF ) you do end up being gay, it is not the end of the world. Yes, I know, the thought is terrifying. But sometimes life gives you something you don't want, and you can't change it no matter how hard you try. And you can either accept this unwelcome reality, as difficult as it is, or spend the rest of your life miserable, trying to fight it.
Who you are attracted can vary a lot through the course of ones lifetime. For me, as a woman, it even varies according to the time of the month. And it varies according to the person you are with. And a lot of it depends on the person, when you meet the person you fall in love with, then you will know. And my guess is it probably won't matter to you if it is a guy or a girl, because being in love is a wonderful feeling.
My adice: just let life take you where it wants you to go. Its scary I know, but what is meant to happen is going to happen, regardless of how much you avoid it. I would experiment. Watch porn of both varieties. Maybe experiment with girls and guys, and just see what feels more comfortable and natural to you. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you the best of luck with everything.
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A
male
reader, kizza135  +, writes (7 August 2008):
i am also 13, i go through the same thing and when my penis is erected it slight points upwards...i sometimes get erections to men as well as women but i dont want to be gay. i wonder if you or me might be bi??
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): im 13 and im strait but i get turned on by guys and girls but wen i masterbate i think of guys cause it is easier and my penis is at an angle too its up not strait but not much
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): I had those feelings as well and i turned out to be gay and dont worry about being gay . . Try masterbate to i gay porn and see he its better than straight porn Redtube has good porno
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): Speaking from my experience of having many gay and lesbian friends...Being gay doesn't have to be about flouncing around, being a queen, etc. if that's what scares you. I know lots of gay men who watch and play sports, raise a family with (almost) old-fashioned morals, look and dress just like all the straight guys you know. And if you're living in the right part of the country, there's very little discrimination (no more than what you'd get for being black, or poor, etc.) So being gay should hold very little obstacle to you being what you want to be in life. When I was younger, a number of my friends considered themselves bi. Because we lived in a very open environment, we were able to discuss with few inhibitions and found that even all-the-way-straight people (including me) had same-sex fantasies more or less often. However as we got older most of the bi people moved to being gay all the time or straight all the time, basically because they fell in love with one person who was either the same or a different sex. In the final analysis, there's a continuum from very straight to very gay, and by no means should you feel pegged to one place on this continuum for life. Anyway, at your age, anything will turn you on, the more so if it's forbidden. Calm down, concentrate on personalities, and see where love leads you one day.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone who has helped.
Youve all put my mind at rest.
thank you all so much.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): hey .... you should just go for whatever you choose... i think that being gay is awsome .... but surely im not........ if you think that your gay then be gay other wise if your too scared of being gay ..... give it time ..... and i bet you will end up knowing ...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): i am of the same situation. i watched gay porn to see if i would get turned on. and i did. i now realise that i am gay. but how do i tell people or get a boyfriend at my age. as to your masterbating problem i can't help you!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): u are not gay trust me ur going through normal stages
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): when I was a boy I used to masterbate wearing my mothers panty hose and by crossing the legs putting the penis in between the legs caused me to cum.when my legs were squeezing the penis. I was scared because as I found out later most were using there hands.
Id cross my legs a lot in the bath tub and it caused my penis excitement. I was concerned that wearing stuff would cause me to be gay. as it turned out in the endI was straight but it took some time to figure it out.
I am a Tv though in private.
Give it time, my friend. you may be straight once those growing hormones kick in.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): I get eith guys and girls, or used too. But now i too want to just get with the guys. im 17 and think its time i need to decide. Is there a stage where you cant go back???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): hi
i have the same issues...i had a fear of becoming gay or bisexual so i took up counciling...it helped me get passed my fear but i still cudnt get rid if my confused fealings...i tried to igore them..but in the end i accepted my self as bisexual...it realy helped...and as for ur penis...its supposed to stik upwards.
hope this helps
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): the penis thing could just be a weak erection due to over masturbation. and if thats tru maybe u r just bored of chicks. give it a break 4 a week if u can. stopping is easier said than done.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): dont worry about. ur 13. when i was 13 i was like u. eventually ull see a girl that will knock ur socks, and that will be the only thing ull focus on. just focus on something else and try not to think about it. I read somewhere that a large percent of homosexuals are a result of social outcomes and environment. Meaning that ur parents are a gay couple or if u are surrounded by girls or u r an outcast, or something like that. nt syng this is tru
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): hi im 15 and i have a similar problem to another person i saw on this
i think im gay, i have thought this for a long time now, but i really dont want to be!
im at the time in my life where girls want more than just a kiss and im scared encase nothing happens... i want kids when im older but because of this i wont, even though gays can adopt i dont think it is right for the child, i have nothing againts gays, but if there is anything i can do to be hetrosexual please reply!!!! thanks alot for reading this
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): Yep - as everybody else says, it's normal for the penis to point upwards. It's actually normal for it to point in any direction (up, down, left, or right).
I don't blame you for not wanting to be gay. It's a pretty scary idea. People get judged all the time for being gay, and when you're younger you're more likely to feel lonely and confused. But try not to judge yourself or what you enjoy. Remember that you're not hurting anybody.
If you feel lonely or confused in future, remember that you can always come back here.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): What does it matter what you are thinking? No one will know unless you tell them. Masturbation is always a fantasy anyway. If you meet someone either a male or a female who you have sexual, and loving, feelings for, that may help you decide. Anyway it will only happen as things evolve so go with your feelings at the time. Only do what you want to. Even then that will just be the first and does not mean anything is set in stone. Life has a way of showing us the way and, well, chill and just enjoy the journey. Besides the edges are blurring on being gay, or bi or straight. Also I think it is trendy to experiment with all thesedays. When you can't be apart from someone you will know thats what you want.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): Its alright to have feelings towards other males, I went through it myself but if you are straight when you have sexual relations with a girl it will be the time of your life (sure was for me) hope this helps you mate
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): if you can honestly say you are attracted to girls then you are not gay
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): Erm...your penis is MEANT to point up! NOT down!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): i think mene thinkin about men is just pure testosterone, its a fantasy and its best to keep it that way because when you act out your fantasys it normaly makes one feel uncomfortable, i like gay people and have a lot of friends that are gay but sometimes thinking of the darkest fantasy can fuck you up for a very long time. Hope this helps man. Peace
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female
reader, 2confused137 +, writes (2 December 2007):
 Ok you are 13,Guys get erections pretty much to everything at that age. Don't worry it is just a phase and i am betting you will probably get over it. And if you dont want to become gay,then dont. It is up to you to make your choices not anyone elses.So dont worry i am pretty sure it is normal!!!
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (1 December 2007):
 Your young sweetie its normal to expolre your sexuality and think of things that you may think is strange and scary but your normal, my brothers gay but he knew he was when he was younger the thought of women repulsed him, dont worry about a thing your normal just because you dont think about women when your masterbating doesnt mean a thing many people think of diffrent things but nobody talks about it
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reader, Bing +, writes (1 December 2007):
Go with the flow and don't be bothered with what other people say or think.If had to wager a bet on your sexuality being 100 per-cent hetrosexual I really wouldn't, but there is nothing wrong with what your feeling.Also try not to worry and try not to fight any feelings you get. You were born a certain way and if that way is whaat you seem to indicate it to be, then it is a worthless effort to try and ignore it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you extremely much
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reader, auvi  +, writes (30 November 2007):
you are going through a phase and in a perfectly normal state. my suggestion is that try having a good girlfriend now. and such attraction to the same sex doesnt mean you are yet gay.
the penis part : its normal and true for other guys too
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): as for your second issue there's nothing wrong with your body, some penises curve or angle certain ways, it's completely natural and probably means you're developing. anyway, in terms of your attraction to men, i would ask if you could actually see yourself kissing a boy, having a relationship with a boy, stuff like that. For me, it is easier for me to masturbate thinking about women, but I don't think I could ever date one, but you know, I'm open, and I think you should try to be too. It is harder for people with same-sex attractions to be accepted in our society, and I understand your not wanting to be a member of a group that has been hated on for years, [like i said i've been in your boat] but you really have to do what makes you happy and pursue who and what you like in life, so..I would don't exclude the option altogether--you should experiment, maybe not at this point because it will be hard for you at school, but in the future you may want to explore and see what you like better. I hope that's helpful!
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female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (30 November 2007):
 Lets start with the second one as it is the easiest, most men have some kind of angle in an erect pennis. It can be upward or to the sides, I believe this is nothing you provoked rather than your anatomy itself.
On the other question. You are starting to question your sexuality and this happens to most of us as it is a normal process of self discovery. I know a lot of gay people and there are two tendencies I have observed: 1.) guys who since their childhood are attracted to other men and are excessively interested in girl stuff (as dresses and shoes and makeup). 2.) Guys that have had a sexual interaction or molestation in childhood that has somehow messed up their sexuality. I am, by no means, stating this are the only two tendencies in sexual development of gay men, this is just my experience. The thing is you need to find out when this started and how it started. If there is a hurtful memory regarding sex, this could be affecting your sexual interest. If so, you should look for professional help to sort things out.
On the other hand, if no such experience exists, there is a possibility you are genuinely sexually attracted to boys in which case you will have to go through a process of accepting yourself as you are. Look for community organizations that specialize in teen sexuality, there are also some sites on line that might help you. Do not stress, time will clear this matter for you!
Best of lucks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): You are still very young. It could be that you are bi-sexual, which is more common then you could ever imagine. As far as the direction of your penis, that is normal as well. You're at that age in life where your body and your hormones are constantly changing. I wouldn't worry about it too much right now. Just explore and enjoy your inner sexuality and you'll figure it out. Good luck!
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female
reader, maddierose  +, writes (30 November 2007):
 i cant really answer the second one because, well i dont have a penis, the only thing i think is that i dont think penis' can be "re-shaped" so to speak. but the first one i can try and answer better.
it could be one of two things.
1) your at an age where sex is a little more confusing and your just confused.
2) you may be bi sexual, if this is the case but you dont want to be gay, ignore the male side of you sexuality and only go for girls until your ready to accept that your bisexual, which could be a long time or it could be a short time. you might grow out of it.
your too young to really know yet.
hope this helps.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): Hey BoyGeorge. I would say for now you are definetly Bi-Sexual. No one but you can eventually decide who you want to be.
Don't worry so much about the angle of your penis. Trust me, when the time comes it will definately do the job no matter which angle it's coming from....
Oh Yeah and don't worry so much. Just try saying "what will be will be" every once in a while.
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