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I am starting to feel more possessive after our 'fooling around' sessions!

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 October 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 October 2009)
A female India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'm 28 suffering from bouts of depression. Started talking to a friend over a phone who, I don't even like that much but, suddenly we started flirting.

I went over to his place and we fooled a bit. No intercourse just oral sex. He does'nt love me neither do I but, we just keep on having this foolin around kind of relationship without any intercourse.

He still does'nt love me but, what bothers me most is sometimes he acts ignorant and insensitive.

He was always like that but, I don't know why it hurts more now that I have this relation with him.

I have more need and expectation.

What to do? I end up feeling more guilty after these fooling around sessions and more possessive too...

Help!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009):

@birdynumnums Thank you very much for that beautiful advice of yours.I'll follow it to my best.I have planned on avoiding him slowly and trying not to be alone with him.

So, we don't end up having those fooling around sessions anymore. Thank you very much.

@CaringGuy Thank you for your reply. I really hope that with your best wishes I'll find a guy for me soon who love me for me....and for what I'm and who I'm.

Thanks a lot.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (5 October 2009):

birdynumnums agony auntWomen get emotionally involved after having sex. Oral sex is sex. Therefore, you are feeling that you are getting closer to him, Only because you have had some relations, knowing full well what an insensitive jerk he is and has always been.

You went into this with the wrong intentions. You knew he was a jerk. You are now under the false illusion that he should somehow change because you have been so generous with yourself, and he should somehow appreciate that you have been wonderful by fooling around with him. He doesn't! Sex is sex, and if it comes with no strings attached, guys don't care, it's free sex. Having sex doesn't change someone who went into a relationship just for the sex. He probably doesn't even get that he has screwed up the friendship, because he got free sex. If he is the jerk that you say he is, that's how he is thinking.

There isn't any point in regret, everyone needs a shoulder now and then, but the truth is -

You can't change other people, and you can't change their behavior, the only person that you can change is yourself and your own behavior.

I would Dump him. And don't bother to keep him as a friend. He certainly hasn't behaved that way.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (4 October 2009):

Oh dear. You need to end this now before you really get hurt. He doesn't love you, he's ignorant and insensitive. He's not worth your time. End this now and find a good guy who will commit to you and take his time to get to know you.

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