A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, thanks in advance for read my letter and I appollogize because the english is not my first language. First of all I am in a relationship with this wonderfull guy for like 7 months. In many ways we are alike, but in other ways we are extremelly different, I am very outgoing and expresive and he is very shy and inexpressive, also there is strong cultural differences between us, I am hispanic and he is eastern european. Again he is a wonderfull guy, he does everything to please me, he remembers everything about myself. However when we first start dating I used to live like 2 hours away from him so we was only able to see eachother once a week. But like one month ago I moved way closer to him(like 30-45 minutes, I didn't do that move because of him, it was because of other circunstances), he was excited about the idea of seing eachother more often, now we are seeing eachother 3 times a week. We both have very tight schedules with our jobs. When we are together everything is perfect. But the problem comes when I have sometimes to do all the planning for the times we see each other. I have told him about this, and he always tell me that he was going to call me to meet, but i did it first. One thing is true, he has never say no to a single time that I asked him to meet. We share strong feelings for eachother, and he is always worry about my health, because i don't have good health. I know he is bad at planing, because his friends complain about that a lot, also I know that he is the kind of person that if he is going to go out at 8pm he would start calling every body at 7pm. With this behavior I kind of feel that I am not enough important, and at the same time, I know that he has give up time with his friends to be with me, so at this point I don't know what to think, also I came from a 5 years relationship with a guy that was verbally abusive with me, but at the same time he would do all the planing with the dates, he would want to spend 24 hours with me. So i am in a complete different situation that I don't know if it is normal or not. Also, is 3 times a week normal for a couple to see eachother? don't get me wrong, I don't want to be with him 24/7
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 September 2008):
If he is bad at planning then there is nothing wrong with you doing it. He is happy to let you be in charge. But there is nothing wrong with him taking charge on other things.
If you lived together and he was a terrible chef then you would not make him cook, but you would get him to wash up.
If there is nothing wrong then don't pick holes in your relationship. There is no "normal" amount of time to spend together.
Enjoy what you have and have fun!
Good Luck!! xx
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