A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Last year I got really hooked on this radio station, it was a right wee hobby of mine! I became famous in its own wee world with the djs and the listenors who all called in and it was alot of fun. At the time I got very close to one of the djs. At first I thought it was all in my own head but the flirting got more clear before he told me he is married. He soon asked to meet me and I got on a plane and went to a different city to meet him. I done this 3 times. I didnt tell my parents either and he is 13 yrs older than me. Although I am over 18. I have missed out all the nice things. Like how much we loved each other and how hard we both found the situation. After the 3rd time I saw him I went abroad to work and we still spoke sometimes but I was finally happy! I came home, got a job and a new boyfriend who I am no longer with. The next 5 months when I was with my boyfriend my feelings for this married man didnt go away and he evan confessed he loved me at one point. However he has always been clear on the fact he loves his wife and will never leave her. If he was single he would love to be with me and I understood that. I am know going to counselling due to everything I have been through and I its not helping. I am not over him and think about him 24/7. I thought about telling his wife by sending a letter to let everything out in the open but that won't solve anything and I love him too much to evan do that! I just feel really messed up and I have no idea what to do. We don't talk anymore as I said it was for the best. But we both care deeply about each other and I would want nothing more than to be with him. I know he is not a bad person and I know he would never do this again. My friends think thats not correct but sometimes you just know. I am not sure what I am asking for exactly by writing this but so much has happened that I am a very lost young women.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): Hi Sweetheart
I have a friend who was in a very simular situation to you and she did tell the mans wife, And the pain that this caused was terrible it affected his children and his poor wife did not no what to do her whole life fell apart...Sometimes in life if we truely love someone then we have to step back and think not of what would make us happy but what is the best for the other person and there happiness. I no how hurt you are sweetheart but telling this mans wife would cause so much heartbreak and pain for someone who has done nothing to deserve it at all...I do really feel for you hunny and your sadness but I really think that you should not do anything like this, It may feel that this would make things better but it wont love it will make things so very much worse.You are feeling ill at this moment because of your loss and the pain is unbearable I no, But the best thing you can do right now is get yourself well and strong. Then when you feel better you will think differently about the whole situation. You need to get your confidence back and your self esteem and concentrate on you and only you, Im going to send you some links to help you....
http://www.ehow.com/how_2052729_gain-back-lost-confidence.html
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.html
http://www.4therapy.com/consumer/life_topics/article/6713/489/Learning+To+Love+Yourself
Its good that you are going to counselling hunny that will be a good support and a place to vent all those upset and sad feelings, Have a read of these links love anytime you feel you need a lift and slowly you will feel better and stronger and come to a better understanding of how certain situations can affect our lives but also we can come through them and become stronger and better people for them..PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU HUNNY WITH LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, CharmmyKitty  +, writes (28 March 2008):
 Even if you both truly deeply love each other, he's made it clear that he won't leave his wife, so whats the point in torturing yourself?You've done the right thing by cutting contact with him. You can't possibly 'get over' him if you keep in touch.It will take a while, but trust me, it'll get better. In the mean time keep yourself busy and surrounded by friends.Take it one day at a time and you'll start thinking of him less and less until one day he's not in your mind at all
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 March 2008):
 Your right, trying to ruin his marriage is not the best idea. You're in a tough spot, but coming to realization regarding all this may help. You realize he's a married man and plans on staying that way. Sometimes when you love someone you just have to let them go, because you do. Part of loving someone is holding their happiness to a higher level than you own. That doesn't mean you can't be happy, it just means you respect and choose not to damage the happiness of another for personal desire.
Is it okay to still love him? Of course it is. You may never truely stop. Even so, it doesn't mean you can't have a happy relationship of your own. The trick there is not to compare people to other people. Treasure the new experience, and don't compare them to the past. Life is all about experience. All though some don't go as planned, when you look back down the road, you'll see even those build us to become who we are as we get older.
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