A
female
age
41-50,
*eatriceandjohn
writes:That's a long story but will try and make it plain and easy... I was in a relationship with a guy for 8 years and although I did not plan to have kids to him I always thought that I would end up admitting it was the best thing because that baby would have had a great dad... But we split up-my mistake- and I fell irresponsibly in love with a guy that already had 6 kids. He's an adorable guy and I thought he would be ideal to have a kid to... So we did... And now I can't quite forgive myself for the fact of being so jealous about his other kids... Especially three of them, his ex wife's ones... I think no matter what they will always be his favourites... That does hurt me more than I originally planned... Am I a bad person?
View related questions:
ex-wife, his ex, jealous, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (23 February 2012):
 Your very welcome.
x
A
female
reader, Beatriceandjohn +, writes (23 February 2012):
Beatriceandjohn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u Mandy x
...............................
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (23 February 2012):
HI
I dont think you should worry yourself too much about this, He is with you, and you have a beautiful child together, his probably trying to balance his love btween them all and finding it hard. It will settle down and get into a ood routine soon im sure.
Mandy x
...............................
A
female
reader, Beatriceandjohn +, writes (23 February 2012):
Beatriceandjohn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionU didn't half sound disrespectful u...
I never said I wanted to go back with my ex, that in the first place...
I do love his kids, they are amazing it's just that I'm scared of MY son missing out...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2012): ditching your current partner and trying to go back to the ex would be a huge mistake, you now have a responsability of a child,you never mentioned his ex trying to stir things in your original post? I wonder if you are trying to make excuses to yourself and wanting out of this relationship? see the problem with dating someone who already has baggage is a big step, with children involved it should not have been taken lightly i.e "well the ex didn'nt work so ill try this out!" it sounds like you still have growing up to do yourself. As far as your current partner having a good relationship with his kids good for him, thats how it should be, fathers ( good ones )are always put down for trying hard with there kids or put down for not trying ( damned if they do damned if they dont ) either grow up and be a supportive partner, or move on to the next poor guy who will have you. but if you continue the way you are, your going to end up a very old lonely women ( probably a lonely cat lady ) looool
...............................
A
female
reader, Beatriceandjohn +, writes (23 February 2012):
Beatriceandjohn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah she's jealous the ex wife that's why she has managed to stir shit about him... But in his face she's dead nice... Aghhhhh
No there's no going back to my ex there's a reason why we never made it and he deserves someone better than me...
The kids are great I just need to get a grip I know... That's destroying me...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2012): you know usually it's the ex-wife who is jealous of the new gf/new wife's kids with the guy, not the other way round. she feels that her ex-husband/bf has moved on and is now all happy with a new family, she feels she and her kids have been replaced.
But I guess it's normal for it to be the opposite too. maybe it will help ease your pain a bit to imagine if she's being jealous of you and your kid?
...............................
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (22 February 2012):
HI
no your not a bad person your only human, your bound to feel a little jealous at times, but they were here first so his going to have more of a bond with them, in time as your child starts to grow he will also get a very strong bond with that child too. how well do you get on with his other children? are you raising them with him too? or are they living with their mother?
I mean yes you knew what you were getting into when you met him, and decided to have a child with him, so you have to except he will have a strong bond with his other children. Have you spoke to him about how your feeling? maybe he does'nt realise how hard this is for you. try speaking with him . It is quite possible his also finding it hard sharing the love, I mean 7 children! wow, I just about cope with my 3 lol.
hope this helps
Mandy xx
...............................
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (22 February 2012):
 Making mistakes is easy, and we all do it. You aren't a bad person. You haven't had a kid with the simple guy, you have had one with the complicated one. And the result is you are living a more difficult life. So really, the person suffering most from your mistake is you. But what you have to be VERY careful about is not letting your worries about the father loving his other children more affect your child. And also, I doubt he does love them more - it's just that he lives with the baby, and does he live with the other ones? If not, he will totally shower them with affection when he sees them, but will be more laid back with the one at home.
It isn't easy. Life never really is. Or ditch this guy and go back to the first one and have some more kids with him ... if he'll have you ...
...............................
|
