A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am in a very unhappy marriage and have fallen in love with someone who is also unhappily married. We so much want to be together it hurts being apart. What is your advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, syns  +, writes (14 June 2008):
you hav't given much detail, but from the little you've mentioned, it would be wise to try your very best to make your marriage work, since you are already in the relationship, and then once you are certain, and convinced that your marriage is over, it would be ok to open yourself to new prospects, but a small bit of advice in regard to the person you fell inlove with, don't commit to ANYONE while they commited to someone else, save your yourself the potentional heartache, in my opinion this would be the most moral and ethical way to approuch the situation.hope adve is helpful,kind regards, synz.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): I think that you should go for it.Life is too short to live in a unhappy situation. The way I look at my marriage is when i get to the point of being unhappy it is time to move on cause i dont want to look back at my life when I am in a rocking chair, not able to enjoy life and wish that I lived it differently. It is too late then. You are only going this way once.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): Ask yourself how you will be feeling in 10 years time if you stay with your husband. Ask youself how you would feel if you let this new man out of your life and never saw him again.
And then, if you're absolutely sure you can't live without this new man, and if there are no children involved, my advice would be to leave your husband.
There is no point in staying with someone you don't love - it doesn't benefit either of you, and you will only end up feeling bitter and resentful. Do what you want to do, and not what others expect you to. Life is very short!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): take 6 months to stop talking to your "boyfriend" and begin talking to your husband again and re-connecting.
life is not about what you think feels right at all times, it's about right and wrong and sometimes it does hurt to do the right thing, but you just have to do it.
i'm sorry but you will love to regret it and you destroy your whole life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): I am also in an unhappy marriage and have met someone else who is in the same boat. I am seriously considering saying goodbye to my marriage and have been for some time. This new person also possesses all the qualities I ever wanted in a man, our social backgrounds are also similar. I did not plan on the affair happening but did, if it wasn't him it would have been somebody else. I used to warn my husband that if he did not quit drinking or grow up, this will happen and it is. I tried to deny that I am unhappy, but with no success. My goals in life also do not include my husband, so I can empathsize with what you are going through!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): I hit a similar situation 4 years ago. My marriage was flaky, and it's impossible to put a finger on the problem. If I could have done that, I could've addressed it with my wife. Together we could have sorted it.
My wife begged me to stay and I did so, thus leaving the woman with whom I was truly in love. I am still in love with her and it hurts to know that I can never fix this, or be with her again, ever.
I wish I'd gone through with it and ended the marriage. I'm still here and I am truly unhappy. I'm living a lie. What's the point? Please don't do the same as I have done. It's your life.
After all, who wants to be with someone that doesen't love them? Surely it's better to get the pain of separation out the way and then both can move on.
Good luck,
Paul.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): Leave your husband and go and make a life with this other guy. Don't waste your life with someone you dont love and who doesnt make you happy. I have, and it gets worse not better. You are lucky you have met someone else who makes you happy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): Try to disconnect yourself as soon as you can from the situation. I did the same thing and it has been the biggest, blackest mistake I have made in my life. You just make a bad situation worse. Learn right now what its taken me 8 years to learn.
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (30 May 2007):
DEAR UNHAPPY IN LOVE; HAVE YOU FALLEN IN LOVE OR FALLEN IN LUST? IF THE NOW MARRIAGE ISN'T WORKING,AND I AM SURE THAT THERE IS MUCH TO BE DESIRED IN YOUR PRESENT RELATIONSHIP. TO START WITH THERE IS NO COMMUNICATION GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND THAT IS PLAIN TO SEE. WELL AS I SEE IT,YOU CAN BECOME MR. UNHAPPILY MARRIED'S FULL-TIME LOVE,BUT I WONDER HOW LONG BEFORE HE WILL BE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER UNHAPPILY MARRIED WOMAN.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (29 May 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,I agree 100% with Eddie, so I don't have too much to add. You two (your husband and you) made a commitment to one another and just because you're unhappy shouldn't mean that you have a "right" to go out and be unfaithful. The first step should be trying to work everything out in your marriage so you are both happy. I'm sure that if you're this unhappy, so is your husband. Have you two tried to work together to make this marriage into something that you both want? If not, why?I guess the next option, after trying to work out your marriages and ending the affair, would be divorce. Then you two could spend all the time you want with one another.Take care.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (29 May 2007):
 My advice is to figure out why your marriage went in the wrong direction, instead of making another bad choice. You see, instead of choosing to fix what you originally committed yourself to, you chose to cheat, creating more uncertainty.
It's easy to choose the wrong path and difficult to make the proper choice. It's a good measure of integrity though.
Also, you didn't give much information about the reason the marriages are supposedly bad. All you've given me, is enough information to believe that your in an adulterous relationship, possible spreading std's and probably making someone else look foolish.
This may sound harsh but on the surface, all you've admitted to is cheating. Try to find out why you've made this choice. Dig a little deeper to find the truth.
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