A
female
age
36-40,
*iljakz69
writes:I'm a 19 year old young mum with a daughter whos nearly 2, ive been with her dad for around 3 years now. We have had our ups and downs which consist of both of us being unfaithful and him being violent etc. It has got to the point where i have fallen out of love with him, I care for him but I dont love him, he is quite controlling and I'm scared about how to leave him. To top it all off I have feelings for someone else, we are good friends and talk nearly everyday and ive slept with him about 6 times over the last year, but since the last time which was last week i have realised my true feelings for him, i dont know how to tell him or whether he will even want to know? I am extremely down at the moment and my heart is breaking. I need help xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Firstly it is your daughters security that you need to consider most, whatever you chose to do you must provide a safe secure environment for her.
You need to leave the father of the child reguardless of whether the other guy will take you on or not. Being on and off in a volitile relationship is neither healthy for you nor for your child.
I think that the other guy that you have feelings for will be there whether you stay or go. Why would he be hanging around having sex with you occassionally otherwise?
Please make a sensible decission and do the right thing for your daughter.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (15 October 2007):
 Hi,
I understand you are unhappy honey, but putting yourself into more trouble before you get out of the one your in now, is not the answer.
You need to get away from the guy you are with, as soon as you can. If you are both being un-faithfull, whats the point of staying. If you think he is going to get violent, get in touch with a womans refuge. They will be able to advise you on what to do.
You are putting yourself first, and not your child, which is really selfish.
Your daughter didnt ask to be born, and should be your top priority. What she see's now could effectt her in the future. So be strong and think of her.
If you do have a future with this other man, dont you want to start with a clean slate. And your present partner wont be able to accuse him of breaking your relationship up.
I hope all goes well for you XX
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