A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My lover said he wants to leave his wife to marry me but keep her as a a business partner. Do you think that he is just keeping her around because he is afraid to let go of her completely? We have been having an emotional affair for about 2 years. About three months ago, we admitted our feelings towards each other. We have not had sex and don't plan to for now, just a lot of kissing. We are both married, he has been married for 26 years and I have been married for 10 years.I have never had a man make me feel so wonderful,when I am around him. he makes feel like I can conquer the world.My body trembles when we kiss and he always gets dizzy. what does that mean? I hope that it is love but at the same time I am saddened to be with one man and be in love with another. I also feel bad for his wife, she seems like a very nice lady and I am ashamed that we are hurting both of our spouses but no matter how hard I try I can not give him up. I am so afraid that I may have finally found "The One" and do not want to let him go.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn response to eddies' comment.
I never said he wanted to leave her as little money as possible.He is planning on supporting her but he should still be able to support himself as well.He is not going to leave her high and dry and I would not want him to. I know what we are doing is wrong but it does not mean that we are bad people.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (20 September 2008):
 You say that you are aware that you're doing something wrong. Good, stop doing that. What do you think God would think? I'm not religious but I find that interesting. Praying is supposed to lead you to the correct choice. You're involving yourself in a nasty web of cheating. You say you feel bad for his wife, she's a very nice lady, you're ashamed.....At the same time, your lover is planning the best way to escape his marriage and give her a little money as possible. What a great guy !!! He'd never do that to you...right??? As for your child, he or she will eventually know what you did. What you're involved in is one of the most hurtful things you can do to someone. You've admitted your marriage is over, why ruin another one.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (20 September 2008):
 Well me and my kids dad split in the feb 7 yrs ago officially, but he still lived with us until the following november, so it can work. We didn't argue though, never really had, so that made it easier.
I actually met him originally at work too. And when i started the job i had only been married just over a month! And if anyone said i would be with him in 2 yrs time we both would of laughed in their faces! He was married too, yet he had 2 children. Anyway i split from my husband a couple of yrs after starting in that job, and within weeks was dating the kids dad. His marriage was pretty much over and within days of us knowing there was an attraction between us, our supervisor told me he wasn't in that day because he had left his wife! Then we got together. We got to know each other for 2 yrs though beforehand, and like i say, if anyone had said we would end up getting together, we would of laughed. But we did, and we ended up having 2 kids together. We did split after 9 yrs, but it was a damn good 9 yrs.
Good luck
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your quick response. Just to give you a little more information. My husband and I have already discussed divorce and have decide to wait until after the holidays to put our home on the market. We are still living together as a couple but also have a child and want to make the transition as easy as possible for her and still remain friendly. I believe that my husband is aware of my feelings for the other man. He has made it clear to me in the past that he was jealous of our friendship. My lover and I did not mean for this to happen, it caught us both off guard. we have worked together for three years and have become very close. We have the same purpose in life and get along great.We know "some" of each others corks and realize there will be many times that we will piss each other off, but thats o.k. its to be expected. Neither one of us has actually said "I love You" to each other. "If" he leaves his wife; I plan on getting to know him better outside of the office. we do not make secret meetings after hours but call each other on our days off. I am aware of the statistics of these relationships working out and pray that my situation is the exception. but that is all i can do is pray, although i am sure god is frowning at me right now.He told me a head of time that he needed to get his financial issues situated with his business, and to take one situation at a time and plan his divorce, otherwise he will end up broke due to alimony payments.I have some of my emotions on reserve because i know there is chance that he may never leave his wife.I will be heart broken but I guess, that is what i get for falling for a married man.I will have to move on eventually.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (20 September 2008):
Sounds more like symptoms of lust that. You know its love when you dont mind them leaving their dirty undies on the floor (well, might mind, but put up with) and various other symptoms. I dont remember going dizzy when i loved someone.
But the fact you haven't had sex is good going.
Who knows why he keeps her as a business partner. Could be financial reasons, could be emotional reasons. He's been married to her a long time obviously.
I dont get why, if you both think you love each other, you haven't left your spouses, THEN you can think about getting together.
Why do people have to zip up the deal with the next person before ending with the previous? That screams of not wanting to be with people for the right reasons. If you dont love them, leave them. When i said i didn't love my kids dad anymore, i didn't go getting with someone else before we split. We split, i spent some time alone, then i started going out etc. I was with him 10 yrs too, and he was a nice guy, certainly wouldn't of deserved me going off with someone else the poor guy.
Splitting with your hubby is a seperate issue to this guy surely?
Then the fact he is keeping her on in business kinda indicates he wont let go completely. But thats something to deal with after you have got out the marriage in my opinion.
C xxxxx
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