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I always do favors for a work collegue but she doesn't appreciate me or do anything in return!

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Question - (1 September 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

There is a certain work collegue I have done many regular favors for over the years. One specific favor takes me out of my way a bit and she has takes it for granted. Yesterday I was stuck and couldnt get my morning coffee. I saw her coming back after her break and asked her if she would mind just bringing a coffee for me as I was stuck. It would have took her less than 3 minutes. Her reply was oh, I`m not going back in there and then laughed slightly and walked off. I know it`s wrong to expect favors returned, but I must admit it has hurt me a bit. No, I have not been doing her favors to get her into bed or in the hope it starts a relationship. She by now probably takes for granted what I do, and if I stop she will wonder why I have stopped. I sometimes wonder if the more you do the less you are thought of. What is best to do in this situation, without looking like I am being petty?

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (1 September 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntThere is a simple solution. Stop doing favors for her! She's using you can't you see that? You are being a complete doormat, like an obedient puppy and you have to cut the cord with her! Clearly she never returns the favors. WTF? The next time she asks you for a favor, just tell her no. There are a million excuses you can give her, so rehearse a few ahead of time so you aren't caught off guard and end up saying yes. You have got to break this cycle. You are beginning to look like a fool around the office and everyone knows it but you. Good luck sweetie.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (1 September 2012):

Tisha-1 agony aunt"Sorry, I won't be able to continue the favor, as it's taking me out of my way and my schedule won't accommodate it any longer."

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (1 September 2012):

person12345 agony auntLike you said, she's probably gotten used to the favors. Just stop doing them.

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (1 September 2012):

Stayc63088 agony auntPeople can sometimes become accustomed to certain things, like favors, and take the person for granted. Just stop doing things for her. It isn't petty. It is standing up for yourself and not being walked all over.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntStop doing favors for her...

Pretty simple really.

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