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Husband wants sex less and less. How do I help?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 November 2020) 6 Answers - (Newest, 27 November 2020)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

For the past few weeks my husband's been wanting sex less and less, but unlike some questions, I know the reason why... my problem is how to help him.

I'm 34, and he's 36.

He's admitted to me to spending HOURS downloading "big dick porn" and also buying old copies of Playgirl from ebay and now says he feels inadequate compared to them (even though I'm sexually satisfied).

I can't really complain, since he's both sexy and intelligent at the same time, but he doesn't seem to think that way; if anything, he's kept wanting sex less and less.

I wonder if he's depressed and why he would put himself through this.

It doesn't help that he's also claimed to have seen pictures online of Donald Trump in his underwear from the 2000s and early 2010s (there's doubt over the authenticity of them) and has told me he's had nightmares about looking like Trump when he's that old.

This is an odd problem and my big question is, how should I handle such an odd situation?

I don't know where else to turn for help.

View related questions: depressed, porn, underwear

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2020):

Sounds more like he has a fascination and attraction to big penises; and maybe a slight gay-curiosity. He's looking at playgirl magazines?!!

I think he's becoming attracted to men! That nonsense about looking like Trump when he's old was to throw you off on a tangent; so you won't focus on the fact he likes looking at other men's penises!

Inadequacy my eye!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2020):

If you’re saying that you communicate to him that he is in fact good in bed, adequate, and you show him you value him, then may e He needs to see a therapist.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2020):

He needs to get over the average dick size thing. Those porn starts are freaks of nature. Maybe take him to a nude beach to see he's about the same size as 90%. But maybe he needs therapy. Obsessed with big dick porn, Playgirl, looking like Trump; they all seem like separate issues linked to something he needs professional help for.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2020):

If you’re saying that you communicate to him that he is in fact good in bed, adequate, and you show him you value him, then may e He needs to see a therapist.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2020):

Midlife crisis.Maybe he is bi or gay and he is having regrets.I do not think he is watching gay porn and getting playgirl mags to compare size.Ask him.It is time he stops lying to himself admit who he is.He will never be happy until he does this.He needs to be who he is and not what society dictates.He is not being honest with you or himself.Therapy for sure for both of you.Sorry.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (23 November 2020):

kenny agony auntI do have to question the authenticity of some of the questions that make it through to here.

He clearly has got to stop looking a porn and making himself feel inadequate, then he needs to give his wife some more attention.

I would say for certain the pictures of Donald Trump would have been fake. Why on earth a 36 year old man is worried about looking like him when he is that old is somewhat worrying.

Maybe he needs some counselling, to talk to a professional and get some proper help.

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