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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I wonder ,if you can help me figure out this strange sex problem.I live in a long term marriage, and we had good sex life. My husband was very highly sexual, and good lover.Now ,he has very serious sexual dysfunction. He is not medically ill, but for some unknown reason ,he cant stay erect, for intercourse , and nothing,but can change this. No plays and sexy stuff... We tried, everything , what was recommended, but now he doesn't even want to have sex with me. Ok ,but the biggest mystery is, that not even blow-job can help him. He gets an erection, but he never stays. Now, this was the same, when we still had sex every few days. I mean, he loved sex, but he could never once in 20 years was able to orgasm with any other way, than inside me. I was always surprised because he himself was very disappointed. SO I THINK, maybe even when he was young and very sexual, he had some sexual glitch, because, as i heard ,it is every man's dream to get a blow-job. He likes it but can't climax, ever.. So not with hand , or any other ways. What do you think what could be wrong with him.I'm asking this, because, many ways , sex advice is always , to try this , if there is a problem with love making. So, I just can't figure this out. Just for not to confuse. He loved when I tried with hand, or bj, but never could climax.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): This sounds like a deep psychological issue he may be dealing with and he isnt unaware of as its in his subconscious. Counseling can help greatly with this and Ill highly recommend that.
A
female
reader, catcher00  +, writes (12 April 2011):
I've been w/ a few guys like this. After I while I stopped taking it personally and was just like, "whatever" not the snippy kind of "whatever," just the--"whatever you need to do" type of whatever. I was even w/ a guy who could only get himself there by use of his own hand (or sex but I was a virgin at the time and we didn't have sex.) i stopped caring, bc sometimes you just have to get over things :P
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A
female
reader, feelingsputtogether +, writes (12 April 2011):
 As you said he is not medically ill but It' might be phycological. Maybe he can get "turned one" and then the light switch goes off. He might be focusing on other things rather than on the pleasure. He needs to relax and place his mind on a blank page. He needs to just enjoy the moment and enjoy the pleasure he might be feeling at that time. If his mind starts to wonder off into "I need to come, I need to Climax, I have to Climax, Will I be able to Climax?" then he will have lost all concentration and will obviously not be erect. It's the same for a woman. If she is worried about work, family, chores, etc, etc then she's not really interested and sex is like a blurr and obviously can't even get to the point of feeling pleasere. If he hasn't seen a sex therapist may be he should.
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