A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband had an emotional affair with his X. When i found out about this heated contact daily for 4 months i was absolutely torn to bits.Initially he wanted to leave me but changed his mind. Kept contact with her for a further 3 months and then suddenly said there was no more contact during an argument 4 weeks ago. I want to believe this as you can imagine and trust that this is true.Deep down i am prepared to be suspicious but try not to let this dominate.Anyway to cut a long story short our marriage has turned around from being sexless over a period of time ( One reason for his straying and the reason for me feeling guilty. I had a child born prematurely who has had many illnesses through the years which took my attention... ) to a very active sexlife.In the beginning this was almost too much for both of us as we were waking up and going to work tired;-)We slowed this down a little but knew that there were also many other areas in our marriage that would also need to be worked on. I don't want to lose his man as we have been married for over 20 years. At the moment i seem to love him more than he does me he finds it hard to say that he loves me. He says that this has to come naturally. When ??? will he ever love me again.Now here is the big crunch i am 45 years old and i think i may be pregant. I really in my deepest, depression and anxiety ever thought that this could be possible. How immature can you get, my head was somewhere else.Now i may have to deal with the consequences.Don't get me wrong i love children and would love to have 1 more ( only have 1 ) but i am scared to bits with all the what if's.I need advice on what to do, how to approach telling him and is there anyone else out there who has had a child at this ripe old age?By the way i am very physically fit ( Train for marathons, love running )Help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): Hi Gina
Thank you for your response.
The fact that you agree that this marriage is worth working for helps me face the reality of it all.
I agree i should talk to him but ohhhhh i still remember the discomfort of the affair. This is in a way a result of that time it is like a trigger for emotions. I know that if he says we should terminate without thought i will get all that negativity asociation crap again.
At the same time i know this was real bad timing and very irresponsible i also know it will have to be dealt with in the most appropriate manner.
I am not too worried about my own health but i wold be concerned about the childs health and future.
I don't even want to think about abortion as this would be a new trauma.
I have read many articles that say many pregnancies at this age will spontaniously abort.
These are very early days and i think i should wait to be 100% sure before talking things over.
I am also wondering if the stress due to the affair will cause delayed menstruation.
What a mess, i never thought i would ever go through my own real life soap drama.
I will always think twice before ever criticising anyone else ever again.
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