A
female
age
51-59,
*oolye
writes:Hi,My bf and I have been living together for 10 months and were going out for 5 months before that. Since Jan he has had limited interest in sex and this only occurs when I initiate. He has given various reasons for this, more recently saying that he has trust issues and doesn't want to be vulnerable again (he has 2 failed marriages, both resulted in the wife going off with another man). I really love my bf and want to be with him but would like him to initiate much more often! I would also like him to talk about emotional things more, he says I know more about him than anyone but I feel I know so little - any suggestions please? Thanks. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (21 July 2009):
Perhaps he he has a low sex drive. A lot of the time when guys don't want sex it is because they just don't feel like it but they don't like to admit it (as it doesn't fit in with the normal image of masculinity) - so maybe hence the excuses he's been giving.Could that also be why his former wives ran off with other men - because he wasn't very interested in having sex with them? Not that I condone them running off, but seriously this could just be the way he is.
A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (21 July 2009):
 two wives runnin off with other guys? Hmmm i'd see that as a big warning sign of frustration to come. When you have to make the moves all the time it will chip away at your self esteem. You need to know your guy thinks your hot, its a fundamental. I agree with steve s, i think his reasons are hogwash. stop makin the moves and see what he does. good luck x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 July 2009):
 Well in some relationship only one person initiate sex. In others it is 50-50. It really varies.
I say if you want sex, if you are Hot for him then put your moves on him.. Sooner or later he WILL realize that you are still around and maybe, jsut maybe he will pick up on the facts. That you are there and that you want him.
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A
female
reader, fhockeygirl16 +, writes (20 July 2009):
If you do love him, I wouldn't worry about him not initiating sex. He has lost 2 wives, so I wouldn't dump anything else on him, especially something as unimportant as that.
As for getting him to talk more about emotional things, make sure you both sit down together for dinner at least twice a week and just bring up anything you feel the need to talk about.
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