A
male
age
36-40,
*arm
writes:I caught my girlfriend sleeping at this other guy's house who she previously promised not to ever see again. Her car was parked in front. This has happened a few times over the past couple years (we've been together almost 5) and I always forgive. I told her if I ever caught her again I'd never speak with him. This time I need to stand strong and do it. Why can't I ever seem to hold my ground? How can I stand strong? Should I just ignore her calls from now on--without reason? I fear if I talk to her she'll "sway" me--she's so manipulative. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ulick  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 Dude you need to work on your self. You need to ground your self and find what you want in life. And its for sure not to live with a serial cheater that controls you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): See how shes calling you now and trying to get your attention? She wanted the best of both worlds, she wanted a boyfriend who was always there, and this guy to use as she pleased. She may have 'qualities'.. but she also has 'qualities' that you dont need! How would she feel if you slept over a girls house regurlary..? Thats not normal for a relationship! And you can tell shes guilty and has been doing wrong, because she came so tense when you confronted her, if she was completely innocent, she would have been calm!
If you want to meet her to talk, then do so. But dont let her talk you into getting back together, remember that she was more or less cheating on you, and if you get back with her, its almost like your saying it was okay and she'll know she can carry on doing it, because you'll always take you back.
You want a girl that looks completely at you and no other guy, let alone be around his house! Your girlfriend needs to make you feel 100% special and the 'only' one in her life :)
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A
male
reader, Garm +, writes (26 February 2010):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI stopped by her place and brought her some chocolates I bought for her last night (before I caught her at the dude's place again). I basically surprised her, stirred her from her nap. We laughed and joked a while, I told her what I did with my friends last night to entice her to start lying about her own prior night. I got her going for about 10 minutes before I confronted her.She became irate, calling me paranoid. I told her she'd been caught and broke up with her. She became very angry.
I surprisingly feel pretty good, but I am worried I'll feel like shit about it later--hard to find a girl with her "qualities." At any rate, she's called twice since I left (about half an hour ago). She left this eerily calm message about how I need to call her back because this shouldn't be the way the last time we see one another is.
You're both right; maybe it is a confidence and respect issue. Now I see it--maybe I can fix it. How?
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A
male
reader, Garm +, writes (26 February 2010):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI stopped by her place and brought her some chocolates I bought for her last night (before I caught her at the dude's place again). I basically surprised her, stirred her from her nap. We laughed and joked a while, I told her what I did with my friends last night to entice her to start lying about her own prior night. I got her going for about 10 minutes before I confronted her.She became irate, calling me paranoid. I told her she'd been caught and broke up with her. She became very angry.
I surprisingly feel pretty good, but I am worried I'll feel like shit about it later--hard to find a girl with her "qualities." At any rate, she's called twice since I left (about half an hour ago). She left this eerily calm message about how I need to call her back because this shouldn't be the way the last time we see one another is.
You're both right; maybe it is a confidence and respect issue. Now I see it--maybe I can fix it. How?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 February 2010):
You clearly have little confidence in yourself if a girl like this has control over you. So take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you want to have the crappest girlfriend on earth, or whether you would rather find a really good one. She won't sway you if you convince yourself you can do better. So get rid of her, tell her it's over and delete her number and ignore her for the rest of your life. Remember that every time she is doing this and you take her back, she's laughing at you. Stop this. Realize you can do better, tell her you can't stand the sight of her any more because she's a liar and a cheat, then focus on your own life and cut all contact.
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A
male
reader, dyeruz +, writes (26 February 2010):
It's all about her respect for you and most importantly the respect you have for yourself. Isn't it enough that you tell her not to go to this guy's house and she keeps going there? If she doesn't respect or love you enough to stay away from this guy, is it really worth it for you? Every night when she's not with you have have to drive to this guy's house to see if she's there. Do yourself a favour and move on..it's hard, unless you want sloppy seconds.
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