A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a nineteen year old girl, i live with my parent(my sister and my mom). I have always been a responsible girl, i dont even get a proper allowance, yet i do not ask for too much. I do not go out after dark and I am a diligent college student, so I study hard, and get good grades. I have a bf and just like any other couple, we sext, but i know my limits and I do not want sex before marriage. Last night, i fell asleep without locking my phone, and i woke up to my 17 year old sister crying and having a tantrum. She refused to say whats wrong, and started calling me names. I found that she had written a paper full of commom sexting termsa, and she was looking them up on the internet, because she has very little knowledge of sex. The thing is that we are muslims(I am however an atheist). She has never even kissed a guy, and its no use explaining anything to her because she is just too narrow minded. I was extremely pissed off at the fact that she went through my phone! We have had fights about this before, and i thought she had enough decency to respect my privacy and treat me like i treat her. I would never allow myself to go through anyone's phone! Now she is trying to tell my parents and she's tormenting me and blackmailing me. She's trying to convince my parents to limit my freedom, this is not fair, i can take no more of this stress, please tell me what to do, i do not want to end up running away from here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, thank you for the answers guys! Faux angel, my bf is an atheist as well! But he is like me, muslim. My parents are extremely uptight! My mother would flip out if she knew i even kissed a guy. My sister was crying because she thought i would disgrace the family and because i was sinning, not because she cared much after all. She thinks i had sex, and no matter what i tell her she doesnt believe me because i have previously lied to her about my personal life, because she will just not understand... She says she wishes i die before news of my bf gets to my family.. Im trying to block those hurtful words, because i know that no one has the right to chastise or to stop me.. I had a date today with my bf but i cant go because then my sister, thinking im running off to have sex would tell my parents directly. Additional info. If my father knew i had a bf, even if we didn't do anything, he would KILL me. We are in an arabian society were honor killings are performed on usual basis!!! I am hoping to get a scholarship so i can get out of this damn country as fast as i can!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2013): Oh and OP delete those messages. There's no reason to keep them. Delete them each time you get one too straight after reading them. If your parents ask say it's not as bad as she makes out, you were just being affectionate.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2013): First off set your phone to lock after a certain time. You've caught her before, it's kind of your own fault for not being cautious, you know what she's like.
OP it's simple, tell her to fuck off and tell your parents for all you care. Then ask her to show you the part in the Koran that says sexting is haram. If she's as devout as she claims then she'll easily be able to find the passage that says it's against Islamic law. Then remind her that you're not a Muslim and Islamic law doesn't apply to you anyway, then remind her again that even though it doesn't apply to you that you still honour your family in all the ways matter to an Islamic family. You have done nothing to bring them into disrepute, and frankly it's more haram to not respect your elders, to blackmail people and threaten them is also very against Islamic teachings.
Then again, tell her to fuck off and mind her own business.
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