A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 21 year old female who is very overweight and unattractive. I am attempting to tackle my weight issue, but it is going slowly. No men ever show any interest in me, while my other friends are constantly getting male attention or are in happy relationships. This is really starting to affect my confidence.Any tips/advice/strategies for how I could start to attract males?I am not expecting great things, but sometimes you just need to feel that you are desirable.Thanks :)
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female
reader, ellie:)  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 self confidence and good self esteem:) wearing something sexy will help boost your confidence:) and guys who look whats in da inside are the ones you should be trying to find not the ones dat look to see da outside!!!! good luck
A
male
reader, Josh3963 +, writes (10 September 2009):
HeyAs Jerblaine mentioned there are various overweight dating websites out there that you could give a try. I actually have just started one up myself (overweightsoulmate.com.au) specifically for aussies. i have many overweight friends that voice the same sort of issues and i thought this would b a good way to help. There definitely are guys and their that would find you beautiful :)Josh
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A
male
reader, jerblaine +, writes (26 April 2009):
 There are some men who are into big girls. Join some personals websites for big people and those who like big people. Seriously there are guys out there who will like you! You have a niche in the market now you just have to find your target audience which is men who like bbw's :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): I know exactly how you feel. I have always felt like the "overweight unattractive one" within my group of friends because they are all gorgeous. I have 3 best friends and none of them weight over 120lbs! I don't think I'm "fat" but I am about 20lbs overweight. The important thing is to be happy with yourself. If you don't like your weight, you can always change it! If you are dieting and happen to mess up and eat some junk food, just remember, tomorrow is another day! You will not get attention from men if you make it aware that you are insecure and shy. Be confident and talk to people! I finally met an amazing guy who tells me I am perfect the way I am and he's actually helped me with my self-confidence. He gets mad when I say things about how I feel ugly or fat. Men admire confidence, no matter what a woman looks like.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Hi, i just wanted to say that Diets (in my opinion) are an uneccecary action to take, they are a temporary fix and people rarley manage to keep the weight off once the diet is over. If your unhappy with your weight then the key is to change your eating habbits permenantley. We all know that healthy eating and regular exercise are the key to looking and feeling healthy.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 I like everyone's advice, but particularly that by good Uncle Phil. He's so, so right. I may add that, advertising nothwithstanding, we love curves. And I also wonder what your definition of "very overweight" is, and whether your definition of "unattractive" has to do with "overweight". You can be very skinny and then unattractive. And you can be attractive and overweight.
If it is a serious concern for you, and you need to boost your self-esteem, follow a diet, but, most of all, believe in yourself. I have a friend who doesn't have any problem getting a man and has always been very overweight.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Ok. I'll try to give you a straight answer from the male point of view, and before I go any further I'll tell you that my first wife weighed about 18 stone (250lb) and my second one 23 stone (320lb).
Not all women who are overweight are unattractive. Take Dawn French and Fern Britton as a couple of good examples of attractive overweight women. However, males are shallow creatures and first impressions are the ones that generally hit home. Many's the time I'd look at thin women and wish I was married to someone a lot smaller. It seemed to me that as soon as I married someone they lost interest in looking after themselves, and went from about 140lb upwards. Perhaps I fed them too much, I don't know, but the important thing is what's inside.
Something I learned a while ago, a saying. "No matter how good she looks, there's always some other guy pissed off putting up with her s**t". How true that is!
Anyway, the difference between a happy overweight woman and an unhappy one is very obvious to a man. It's in the smile, the jovial personality, the bubbly nature. No-one looks attractive if they show outward signs of being miserable. Believe it or not there are some men out there who have a fetish for overweight women and wouldn't give anyone under 300lbs a second look.
Good on you for doing something about the weight - it's not healthy to be overweight, but no fat person ever came out of a concentration camp, so it's all to do with food intake and exercise. Cut down on the former and increase the latter and it'll drop off you. Willpower is obviously required, and I wish you the best of luck with it.
Remember - laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Join a dieting group and exercise class; get involved with folks in your same predicament. Support groups are great and you can meet new people and work together at accomplishing the same goals. It IS a slow process, but the results are amazing. When you get those pounds off, then seek a fashion store who will work with you and a hairdresser/beauty consultant. Go with a newfound female friend and 'fluff it up' and try new clothes in your new bod's and makeup--new do, the works! Like I said, it isn't an overnight thing, but doing little things along the way, can make a world of difference in your attitude and confidence. Keep in touch!
I have a friend who is in the same boat, but she's losing weight now and trying makeup and fixing her hair...she's attracting a lot of men now and enjoying every minute of it. You can do this, I know you can!!!! Gena
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 You need to have self confidence and a good self esteem.
Then you need to have a happy disposition and this will attract the males.
They will see your inner beauty and will not see your body.
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A
female
reader, korculan queen +, writes (18 March 2008):
Oh honey I know how not feeling as though you are attractive due to weight can make you feel. Try some positive affirmations and if you want to lose weight then join a gym or dance at home to whatever music you like. Go for a walk. It is so sad that society places beauty on a woman by how much she weighs. Remember no matter what you weigh you are beautiful.Confidence is what makes you attractive. Have you tried bellydancing? Really great for women to release all their endorphins and it really makes you feel attractive no matter what you weigh.Practice these affirmations daily.
1. When I look in the mirror I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
2. I am capable of attracting love and positive things can and will happen to me.
3. I am worthy of love and respect.
4. I am beautiful just the way I am.
5. I have many good qualities.
6. I am a good person.
7. I am special and unique and a goddess.
It might sound silly but just practise these affirmations. Make your own up if you like but it is all about training your mind to say positive things rather than negative things about yourself and changing your mindset. People can be cruel but you can be kind to yourself. Love starts with you and radiates outwards from your beautiful soul. Take care mate.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): I agree with Mandy here, I have been 270 lbs and now 180 lbs and the real difference was in the confidence. There are days when everyone feels a little low but you should always feel like you are beautiful. I also think you should go get the nails and hair did keep up with your diet and exercise and you will notice a difference in how you feel about yourself. Then the men will come, however you should stay away from relationships until your self esteem is where it should be. Always walk with your head held high and don't worry about what others think. Enjoy your youth sexy!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Hi Hunny
You no my sister is a larger lady but she has lots of men after her, You see hunny its all about confidence...I'll send you a link to help your confidence and your self esteem, So work on that ok sweetheart... Now you can go and get your hair done in a style that you have always wanted something fab something that pleases you and make efforts with makeup experiment with alsorts its fun. If you are on a diet and your doing it the right way then you will probably be loosing around 2pounds a week which it may have started of more to start with but this is normal and it may feel like its taking an age...BUT DONT GIVE UP!!!!! Experiment with all sorts of products nails, hair, face cleansers, tonners, morsturiser, and you can get a great foundation that stays put for 16hrs sometimes hun when I havent been totaly sober after a night out I still wake up made up!!!!!!:} pop on some banging music that you love and dance when your on your own (I do it all the time dont tell!!!!) Its a great way to keep fit and it makes you happy as well....
http://advice7.com/emotions_feelings/confidence.html
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.html
Those should get you going hunny and when you do notice a difference in you... Dont keep us in the dark let us no how your doing ok hunny YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH TONS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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