A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a woman (46) for 4 weeks when her younger brother suddenly died. She and her family are a mess. She's hardly called or written but when she wrote last, she said she wants me in her life but if I didn't want to wait for her she would understand. she can't give a date as to when she'll be "ready" again, which I understand. I care for her very much but I'm running out of patience. It's been over a month now with very little contact. Any opinions would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (19 March 2012):
 I agree with all the other aunts who have answered here.
You are being cold and callous, putting your own needs before hers and asking her for a date???...seriously are you kidding??? Quit being so selfish.
If you cannot handle the reality of the situation then go find someone else who has no close relatives, because you obviously have never had to grieve for the loss of a loved one.
A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (19 March 2012):
 Rather callous, and unfeeling. Ever lost some one in your immediate family?
Look, tell her to contact you when and if she is ready, but honestly for her sake I hope she never is...
And one day, when you lose a parent or a sibling, I hope you finally understand and perhaps feel how self-centred you're being...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 March 2012):
 Call her and see how she is doing? At least that is what I would do for someone I was dating and claiming to care for. Call her and see if she needs a shoulder to cry on or a movie and a dinner to distract her from her sorrows.
And the death of her brother is about HER and HER family you being "impatient" makes you sound a little... callous, honestly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2012): Its not honest of her to ask such a request of you in that its something you ask from someone you are in a relationship with.I say you are free to date and move on. She either accepts this about you or not when she thinks 'she's ready'.Understand she is going through something and its hard but what is right is to not have you feel you owe her anything other than friendship, kindness, support when she is ready for such things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2012): If she is in a relationship with you then I would think she would want your support now, but everyone is different, and her family members may need her most now. It's up to you to decide what to do. Why don't you offer to spend some quiet time with her and do whatever she needs to be done and help her as best you can?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2012): Are you in a committed relationship? Does she consider you her boyfriend? It doesn't sound like it...sounds like you went on a few dates and now she's taking a break from her romantic life. Dating doesn't always work out and in many cases, it's timing. Date others and you'll hear from her again or not. Four weeks isn't really long enough to know someone and put your life on hold and sounds like she understands that and doesn't expect you to. I would give her as much time as she needs...she knows how to get ahold of you.
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