A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a half. When it got to our year point stuff really started getting messed up. In the begining of our relationship he was so sweet and romantic, we basically fell head over heals really fast. But then after some time he started taking me for granted and when wed fight he would get really angry. Im not the kind of argumental type either so i dont handle his anger very well. He has a short fuse and gets moody over really small things. He has an extreeeeme jelousy issue too. The thing is I love him very much because we have so much fun together and he really does have a big heart. Its almost like he has two personalities. But a couple months ago I almost left him and he had a wake up call ever sence then he's appreciated me more and been alot more respectful and calm, but just the other night we had our first blow out in a while and it blew up to such an extreme over nothing. I cant tell if he changed or the old him is just temporarily being covered up. I dont know Help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 March 2012):
 He hasn't changed and he won't. He got you back and resumed his old behaviors, that should tell you that he doesn't WANT to change either.
He was just smart about it, did his "sweet" routine and got you hooked.
There is no magic trick or cure for his personality. It takes work and time and honey, no matter how much you want or wish him to change YOU CAN'T do it for him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 March 2012):
He is EXACTLY the same as her was before. People don't change all that easily. It takes a long time, and real effort, and even then they don't really change.
Your boyfriend actually sounds like a bit of a danger to you. He knows that getting angry to such an extreme leaves you pretty scared, so he does it. The time that you threatened to leave meant that he had to put on an act again. But, here we are later, and he's back to his old self.
The best thing to do is to leave him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2012): Almost everyone is sweet and romantic AT FIRST. That's why they say it takes at least a year to see the real person. The past few months, you now see who he really is. There is no changing, going back to the beginning, so you have to decide if you accept him as he is or not. Doesn't sound like you do and you are not happy. Stop asking him to change and YOU decide if this is the relationship you want or not. His jealousy, temper, and moodiness are not going away. The upside is he's fun and has a big heart. You know him well enough now to decide if there are deal breakers.
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A
female
reader, michellematters +, writes (18 March 2012):
If after a year you are arguing things aren't as great as you think. are you spending too much time together? How often do you see your friends? You say he is jealous. does he criticize everything you do? It sounds to me like he is trying to wear you down, knock your confidence so u feel like this is your fault. tell him you are worried about your relationship and where it is heading. ask him to be honest about what he wants. maybe he just wanted a good time and feels trapped. if he won't talk or gets angry he's not for u. don't waste time on him if this is the case. he sounds like a control freak who could turn violent. you deserve better. good luck.
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