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How much bigger than average is my vagina? serious help please!

Tagged as: Health, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 September 2010) 16 Answers - (Newest, 24 April 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My husband says I have a large vagina. There are humongous jealousy issues on his end that threaten to end our marriage, because of this. (But, despite what he thinks, I've never been with another man - actually ever - he's the only one I've been with). I need help, I need to at least know, for my own knowledge and understanding of the situation: how much bigger than average is my vagina?

I'm 5'8" tall, 130 lbs, and my index, middle and ring finger lined up together measure about 2 inches across near the fingernails. I can fit those three fingers in my vagina (unaroused/not during intercourse) lined next to each other, but it is only when I try to fit my pinky in too the same way that the fingers start to unline and slip together toward each into a circle.

So is this an indication of a naturally big/loose/stretched/wide vagina? I have not had kids. On a woman of average tightness how many fingers can you fit in lined side by side before they start coalescing into a circle?

Would appreciate hearing from guys who have been with various size girls.

Please don't laugh at this question, and try to tell me things like: size doesn't matter. Because apparently it does matter and very much, and is making my life hell right now. I am beyond telling that size doesn't matter. I know better now, due to his jealousy. So please if you can help answer my question, do so, if not just pass over it. Thanks.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013):

Infact, vagina is always accomadate no matter to any size of penis, but stay love him and advice to read articles on line. May be he can find the solution of his problem just mine.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2013):

My wife is the same...fact is, some women are "deep dish" and some are "thin crust." I am only 5" erect, and even though my wife could take more, we satisfy one another completely. I've seen child birth..the vagina recovers from that. For a man to think a woman being with a bigger penis would make a difference...well he's a idiot.

To be crude, all pussy is good. Plain and simple. I can get three fingers in my wife. So what? She snugs up around me fine and we both enjoy super orgasms. Be mature, be confident and have fun.

Show your idiot husband this post. Tell him I said to grow up. What he should be in love with is your heart, mind and personality. These bodies only last so long any how and then what you have left is what's inside. If he can't see that, show him the door.

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A female reader, Tazendra United States +, writes (13 April 2013):

You want to aim for limber, not loose, not tight. If you're loose or tight, then you're not limber. Being limber means that you can squeeze around a small penis or even a finger, and also means being able to get an eggplant into your vagina.

Take up yoga. It'll help. Especially candlestick pose, tree pose, and various abdominal exercises. Get a pussy weight on a string and try to hold it in as long as you can daily. You'll get stronger.

And yeah, your husband is insecure and that is a serious problem. It's not you, it's him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010):

I have the same problem with my current boyfriend. He claims that am too loose but its the first time i have ever heard this. However, prevoiuse partner use to tell me that am some what tight and they loved the beeling. It turns out that my current boyfriend has a smaller penis that other men i have been with in the past so oviously its not going to feel the tight cause his penis are below avrage, i would love to work this out with him, so we decided not to have sex for a while so my vagaina will go back to its pervoiuse size we will see how long that is going to last LOL. Honestly i dont think am the problem i think he is.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010):

During our 50's my girlfriend of several years enjoyed sex greatly. I discovered the first time we had sex that she was incredibly tight. It hurt to even try to penetrate her. I wanted her so badly I was determined to loosen her up quickly. Caring, unrushed, passionate oral provided to her allowed her to loosen up quickly and in a short while she was so hot she was dying for me to penetrate her. She had become a lot looser and the sex was great.

The point is that being too tight is a bigger concern than too loose.

A friend, that I am close to but have never had sex with, is concerned that her vigina is too tight. Ironicly, she thought she was too loose about 15 years ago - it took her years to find out she was actually tight. Tight enough to make it difficult for men her age (we all get older - doesn't mean we lose sexual desire) to have enough rigidity to penetrate her. In her case, her concern that she was too loose and later too tight contributed to her having a life with less sex that most kids have before the 12th grade. She feels she has lived without a sex life because of a lack of knowledge.

Too tight is a problem. A problem that can be remedied by stretching exercises and devices (ie Dr. Bergman's "dialator") or household items. The point is a tight woman can stretch herself and loosen up relatively quickly.

I have read several answers that talk about being loosened up by a large partner or by other stretching activities. The authors made the point that their loose openned viginas tightened up after a few hours. That is, of course, true.

Some women, like my ex don't realize that it is obvious when they have had sex with a really heavily hung man. My ex did have sex with other men (as she and I had discussed previously). It was ok with me as long as it was not done in secrecy. Before we parted, other problems lead to secrecy, and when she met with a heavily endowed guy, the sex was obvious because she was stretched in the open position when she spread her legs. It does take a while for the stretching to subside - you can't hide the fact for a period of time.

If you're a bit loose that's fine. It means that your partner will be able to enter you. When the two of you get "older" (now that is a dirty word) - when you've gained more experience and matured more (a lifelong process), then your partner will not have to be iron hard to enter you. As you both mature, your spouse will appreciate that!

Enjoy the advantages of what you've got and don't waste your time worrying about a problem that doesn't exist.

Have fun.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010):

If you were my wife I would encourage you to stretch out even more as it is really fun and a huge turn on. I wish my wife would try...but she is pretty much non-sexual person which is an issue right now. Anyway, A wet loose vagina feels great. I prefer to feel almost nothing with the sensation of sloshing around. A great position is girl on top but like in a doggie style on all 4's...then pull the butt & vagina apart as wide as possible as you thrust in & it like the hotdog down the hallway saying....I just love it. I dated a girl who was so tight I couldnt get 2 fingers in and it was so boring and seemed unsexual...like she wasnt aroused. She was aroused, but she was just too tight. So sorry yer husband is boring and typical. Yer vagina is probably really normal and I'd probably want you to feel looser than you are which can be achieved temporarily thru technique, lube, time, & arousal.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010):

You sound normal. I'm sure I've been with "larger" women, no complaints. Your man sounds like an insecure jerk. Sorry, but that's how I see it. There are plenty of men who'd love you just as you are.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010):

Size may matter to him.

He may have some kind of fantasy about a tight small vagina that he can't get out of his head, but it's just a fantasy.

You are real, your anatomy is real, it is normal, and he should learn to enjoy it. As other posters have alluded to, an aroused woman is a lot more "admitting" than an unaroused one.

He has the problem, not your vagina.

You have the problem, in that he has the problem.

By the way, you are underweight.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010):

You're fine. Unaroused and lubed, I have gotten 3 fingers into several women. Mostly they don't like it...not because it's tight, but because it's just a shock to have so many shoved right in. Most women would not like this. But I have done it. 4 fingers in an aroused state is nothing. I once dated a woman briefly who was into fisting, and once lubed well, she took my whole fist with ease. She was VERY loose afterwards. So loose it felt like banging a bowl of water...like chucking a hotdog down a hallway, as they say. But she snapped right back several hours later.

Tightness is overrated unless you are insanely loose and he is very small or pencil dicked. You're kinda obsessing over this...or rather, your guy is. Besides, many men find looseness and large labia attractive. I've heard large guys prefer loose feeling women because there is less resistance to going deeper. I'm average, so I dont know. Also, it depends if you mean 3 fingers vertically (clit to anus) or sideways. The vagina is round, but the labia and stuff make it easier to insert several fingers vertically.

It's just your anatomy...nothing to worry about. And he needs to get real. Take him to a gyno to convince him. He's just being an ignorant ass. How many women has he been with? Apparently not many...or maybe they were all Russian gymnasts or something.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010):

Ok, thanks everyone for the input. I do do kegels and use one of those tightening gels (we both agree the gel works a LITTLE bit - so I keep using it). I also did that "pencil test" I've read about online where you put a pencil in to the vagina to see if it stays put, and if it does then your tightness is ok. Well for me the pencil stays in even with my legs really stretched out and me swiveling my hips, I can even get the pencil to move with my vaginal muscle BUT.... I find out last night that if I stretch my vagina out enough horizontally I can even get all FOUR of my fingers in singlefile...but on the flip side of this I do have to stretch it out a little bit to get three in, and I only get two in singlefile without any stretching at all. But I'm still confused as to how close I am to average. Because to be able to get all four fingers in single file, no matter how much you have to stretch it out to achieve that, seems frighteningly loose.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010):

Well first, he needs to wake up to the anatomy lesson: Womens vaginas do NOT stretch permanantly from sex with a large man or frequent sex. Having kids or an episiotomy is a different story. He is deducing things that aren't anatomically true.

Second, your vagina is the way it is. If he loves you, he loves your vagina...the way it is. I have been with some looser women and some tighter, and three fingers pushed in unaroused sounds a bit "open", but normal. I cant really say without seeing it myself, which is impossible, but you sound looser than most women. But my ex was perhaps teh same is an aroused state, so you're are within normal range.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010):

He sounds like a total ass. Every woman is different, and Iv'e been with women who were much like you described, and women smaller (and one that couldn't hardly accept a penis - normal size woman, TINY vagina (poor thing was miserable as a result). Sex with each one of them was great, never complained on bit.

Any man that criticizes a natural feature of a woman, especially something that you can't change is rude and a jerk. What is he jealous of? His freinds who's GF's have tiny vaginas? REALLY? Is it always about him? And if so, why are you staying around? Don't let him hurt you to the point where your self image is damaged - that's abuse, and he's not worth it.

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A female reader, Katyg62388 United States +, writes (11 September 2010):

Have you ever been to the gyno? Ask them about your concern, and make sure you are healthy. I've only been with one person as well and I have trouble getting one finger in there when I am not aroused.

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A female reader, sarahrose20 Canada +, writes (11 September 2010):

i want you to think how long you two have been married and how often you have sex. everytime you have sex your vaginas size is effected thats why hes accusing you because girls who have a lot of sex experience the effects quicker. there is two things you can do to fix your problem 1 stop having sex for at least 3 months and your vagina will gain back some of its elastisity or 2 during sex squeeze your vaginal muscles. you can do this in the same way you hold it when you have to pee really really badly. you can even practice when your not having sex because like any muscle the more you work it the stronger it gets and remember THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR VAGINA its normal size for someone who is regularily sexually active. good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010):

well, I would guess that my fingers are larger than yours, but I dont have a ruler handy. with most women that I have had sex with I could get my middle and ring fingers into their vaginal easily when they where aroused and if I try my ring finger they start to fold in. I'm guessing my three fingers would measure close to three inches in width. so I'm guessing your vagina is about average based on my experience. you might not want to mention this to your husband but maybe he has a small penis. how would you know if he is the only man you have slept with?

not bragging but I have a above average size penis. my x-girlfriend has what I would describe as a large/wide/loose vagina, at least that is how it feels when she is aroused. she gets very wet and open and I found that to be a huge turn on, and because her vagina wasn't tight around my penis i wouldn't orgasm as fast. my ability to last longer made the experience better for both of us. the question is how do you discuss these topics with a jealous person? I don't think your vagina is the problem. your husbands jealousy and possible feeling of inadequacy are the real problem.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010):

well, I would guess that my fingers are larger than yours, but I dont have a ruler handy. with most women that I have had sex with I could get my middle and ring fingers into their vaginal easily when they where aroused and if I try my ring finger they start to fold in. I'm guessing my three fingers would measure close to three inches in width. so I'm guessing your vagina is about average based on my experience. you might not want to mention this to your husband but maybe he has a small penis. how would you know if he is the only man you have slept with?

not bragging but I have a above average size penis. my x-girlfriend has what I would describe as a large/wide/loose vagina, at least that is how it feels when she is aroused. she gets very wet and open and I found that to be a huge turn on, and because her vagina wasn't tight around my penis i wouldn't orgasm as fast. my ability to last longer made the experience better for both of us. the question is how do you discuss these topics with a jealous person? I don't think your vagina is the problem. your husbands jealousy and possible feeling of inadequacy are the real problem.

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