A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:So my BF let me borrow a headset and game with him and some online friends he plays with and I got to hear a lot of crazy boy talk. It was geeky boys talking like they are hard core warriors or whatever and a lot of trash talk making fun of each other. My BF is geeky but he gets away with it because he is killer cute and has some yummy muscles under his baggy clothes he was hiding for some reason. His friends knew I was listening but did not seem to care and kept killing me even though I was on their team. I did not take it personal because it was so lame how they fake apologized for accidentally killing me. Everything was fine until one of them just blurted out my name and asked when I was going to give Justin a break and give him a blow job. I was in shock and looked at him and he was obviously in a panic and told his friend to STFU. I got upset and signed out and he told off his friend and signed out. I am aware he does not control what his friend says. The friend was probably trying to embarrass him anyway. Obviously, they know he is a virgin (which they all probably are) because we have both been very public about not planning to go all the way. But this means to me he is talking about our sex life or whatever you want to call it to these friends and they know we have not done oral sex and he must obviously be complaining about it for them to say something. He and I had recently discussed doing more and he asked about oral and I was curious but not ready we agreed to stick to just touching for now. Am I overreacting? Or has he crossed the line sharing private stuff? I admit I talk about some intimate stuff with my friends including some things he might wish I did not share about his body (but I was excited and mostly bragging on him). I guess we never really discussed what we were allowed to discuss with others. This is first serious relationship for both of us. Any advice for this? I cannot be mad at him for too long. He is too cute and acting really really sorry. This may be just stupid boys talking about fantasies. But I did not like what happened and not sure how to prevent that sort of thing in the future. We need to have a talk, but not sure really what to say to him. I appreciate all points of view.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2023): You sort of admitted it but you have done something similar talking to your female friends about your boyfriend without checking with him first. Even if you are bragging about what he looks like shirtless or his manhood when you got a peek or whatever, that can be pretty personal. As long as you were building him up in a positive way he probably would not care. Just saying it goes both ways. You should figure out what is ok to share and what needs to stay private. On the positive side it sounds like you have a young man who is sexy to you but is respecting your wishes about how far to go with sexual intimacy and not pressuring you. Don't be too hard on him about the trash talk from his friends.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 August 2023):
 "we have not done oral sex and he must obviously be complaining about it for them to say something."
No, they were being horny little teen boys. Someone is a little jealous that your BF has a GF and they wanted to tease him.
It doesn't "prove" that he has complained about no sex. If you two AGREED to no sex, then no sex is what you both agreed on.
" But I did not like what happened and not sure how to prevent that sort of thing in the future."
I totally understand you, and I think you should tell him how awful it felt to be talked about like that. However, YOU CAN NOT prevent those OTHER boys from being stupid horny teens who talk "big game" - it's pathetic in a way but probably happen a LOT more than you think. And girls talk mad stuff too, don't forget that. That doesn't make it right or feel less icky.
I would tell your BF that it made you feel ICKY and that you would PREFER he didn't discuss YOU with those guys. If he has any issues with you, he should tell YOU.
You can't control what others, do, say, feel, or think. And your BF can't control his friends either.
What you CAN DO, is clearly communicate to your Bf what your boundaries are, like don't talk to those guys about us.
And your BF can CLEARLY tell off his friends if they cross a line - LIKE he did! He stood up for you and logged off. Would he have done the same if you hadn't been listening in? I don't know.
Some people get very "bold" online.
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