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How long does it take for a man to get over their midlife crisis?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 June 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, *ortified writes:

can anyone tell me how long it takes for a man to get over a midlife crises and why do they walk out on theyre wives for a much younger uglier female than their actual wife

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010):

"....I had an affair, lost my marriage, home, job and even my dog got killed by a car the day I moved out........" it is sad that the very person who claims to love someone, is the person who destroys that someone. and sadder still when the cheating spouse creates a new life away from all the turmoil, the heartache and pain and the emotional suffering. but rest assured one day the wheel will turn and that person who destroys another will pay the price. i have seen it so many times.

i think OP, you need to create your peace and move on. yes it is hard but why wait for the *astard to come back. he was not worth it in the first place so why accept that you are second best. my mother took my father back and she was not happy. the day she truly started living again was the day he dies. the next day was start of her life. it is hard but it can be done. you owe it to yourself to heal and move on. so yes, cry angain, mourn the loss of a marriage and hb BUT believe in yourself and move on. you will find happiness again. believe that and work towards it.

I always say once a cheater always a cheater and this is true. cheaters (whether men/women leave a path of devastation, betrayal and emotional turmoil BUT it is the power given to them by the cheated spouse. so plse take away the power and allow yourself to heal and move on.

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A female reader, MelissaT Mexico +, writes (28 June 2010):

MelissaT agony aunttrust me, don't worry about him, read my story and you'll see what happen to me! Men like this are dirtbags, they cannot be trusted and like caringGuy SAID, he wont come back, he'll just hurt these young girls too! Cry your heart out and move on asap. the quicker the better, now all he'll do is disrespect you. try your best to not let his betrayal destroy you.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2010):

They don't come back. That's the sad thing. He's gone and hurt you, and will hurt this other girl and no doubt go on to hurt another. Your first, best bet is to start moving on. You deserve better than a guy who has treated you this way. Start to move on. Throw yourself into your life, find new hobbies, meet new people. Just don't sit at home hoping he's going to come back. Chances are he won't.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010):

I went through a midlife crisis that took me about 2 years to fully run it's course. It started when I realized housemoms in the neighborhood that were my age looked so much older. I became very age conscious about 39 and went kicking and screaming into my 40th BD. I had an affair, lost my marriage, home, job and even my dog got killed by a car the day I moved out.

All I can say is, there is nothing preventing a person from seeking what is missing. Some seek harder or longer, but all seek something. Hopefully, in your situation, he will seek what is missing in his soul and not his loins. I know it is hypocritical for me to say that, but maybe you can bring faith into th epicture more. It has helped me realize the errors of my ways. I threw away everything...will I be happy again?...absolutely. Probably more than I ever was. But it's a terrible price to pay.

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A female reader, Sincerely Yours United States +, writes (28 June 2010):

Sincerely Yours agony auntOuch. Sorry. I'm guessing this is more an angry rant than anything else. I'm sure you know that there is no clocked time period for a man to be over something like this.

Maybe you should listen to "before he cheats" by Carrie Underwood. Then you would know what to do.

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