A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years - He has yet to finger fuck me or perform oral -I know it is not a problem with me cause other guys have loved to do it for me - He says he loves me but doesn't have to prove it that way - I say he is wrong and it makes me feel really bad cause he looks at that stuff online - Will he ever? I love giving him oral - seems so unfair Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DuncanGreen +, writes (24 February 2008):
 Although I understand that he does not like oral, I still think your boyfriend is wrong. While this specific act shouldn't be required to "prove" his love, he should try to meet you half way to make sure you're satisfied as well. If he doesn't feel comfortable touching you there, consider some alternatives; having him use a toy on you could be just as enjoyable. I don't think you're being selfish at all, there are guys out there who are only interested in receiving and relationships are two way streets.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your responses but I think some of you are hung up on the word that my boyfriend used - Prove _ I never asked him to prove that he loved me by doing that - HE used that term with me when I asked him about it - I just feel that if two people truly are into each other they would want to enjoy all parts of each other - I adore him we have so much fun together - But my x used to withhold sex from me and I guess in my head that I associate no oral from this guy to what x did so that saddens me - It just doesnt feel complete and it rare that he touches me there too - AND I wasnt comparing him to other guys I was simply stating that there seems to be no problem with me as far as desirability or being offensive there - Thanks in advance for more advice!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (22 February 2008):
 My opinion is going to differ with most other advisors responding and side with you. This boyfriend accepts and apparently enjoys receiving oral pleasure from you, yet will not likewise return pleasure in all the ways you would enjoy. And he probably never will. That is indeed his prerogative, but it seems unfair to me.
In my life and experiences, oral pleasure is and should be a two-way street, because it is intensely pleasurable for both partners if well applied - usually vastly more so than simple intercourse alone. Intercourse is certainly wonderful, but not the only fruit on the trees.
The fact is, some have tasted that fruit and enjoyed it, others not. Fine, but your decision is whether the offerings you have are what you really want. There are many married women in America and elsewhere going outside the home for such pleasures because it is not available in their bedrooms, and that is a sadder truth. You are adventurous, your boyfriend is not.
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A
male
reader, Jugurtha  +, writes (22 February 2008):
I think you've answered your own question - "I did ask him and he says he tried it before and didnt like it".If he really is one of those people who don't like (or are even repulsed by) oral sex, he's one of those people.All I can suggest is that you let him know that you feel rejected and unattractive as a result of your dissatisfaction with the love-making. Find out exactly what it is that turns him off oral and take steps to mitigate against that.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (22 February 2008):
 The thing is, you can't whine about someone not giving you oral. My boyfriend doesn't so oral and I could care less because its his personal decision to not give me oral. He has his reasons. Maybe your man just plain doesn't like doing oral? I have had times when I don't like to do oral too. You can't give oral and expect him to give you oral. It doesn't work that way.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): I'm writing again......So you are comparing him to other guys from your past? Because they ate you proved that they loved you? Then where are these guys now?I think you are being unfair and selfish.I love my mother with ALL MY HEART!I would die for her in a heartbeat, if she asked me to!I would kill for her in a heartbeat, if she asked me to!I would kill a brickwall for her, if she asked me to!But I would not kill myself, if she asked me to!So does that mean I do not love her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your suggestions - I did ask him and he says he tried it before and didnt like it -But that wasnt with me! He also said once that if I lost weight he would - but I was really thin when we started going out so I dont think thats it - He is signed up for dating sites along with this but he wont discuss that with me either - He insists he loves me and doesnt want to date anyone else - We just came back from a lovely trip to Jamaica - We are both divorced - think that has anything to do with it? I just know that I feel really insecure - I am 6 yrs older but you cant tell by looking - I used to be so confident - His not wanting to have the kind of sex I am used to and want is making me feel unattractive - I looked at what he is looking for on one of those sex sites and I do all that already - I dont get it - Help
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): I don't drink at all, so I won't prove I love you by drinking with you, not even a 'sip' on holidays or your birthday.I don't ever eat sweets, so I won't eat a piece of your birthday cake to prove my love for you.Though I love you with all of my heart and will die for youI won't prove it to you by walking thru HELL in gasoline underware.Though I expressed to you that my love for you cannot be measured by the highest mountains known to man....I will not prove it to by climbing even the smallest ones.I love you but I will not prove it to you by eating at your honey triangle....I don't do triangles with my mouth.If this is needed to SHOW you how much I love you...then I guess....you have no faith .....in my love for you!
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A
male
reader, Jugurtha +, writes (22 February 2008):
I concur with Ann1056263 - it's doesn't mean that he doesn't love you simply because he doesn't perform certain actions with you in bed.That said, I can understand why you're concerned - a satisfactory sex-life is important in most relationships.Some people out in the world have hang-ups and feel uncomfortable about oral sex, for others it just isn't their... cup of tea.Have you asked him why he won't?
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