A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm 35 and have been in a relationship with my 22 year old girlfriend for 3 years.... until about 4 weeks ago. We have a 9 month old daughter.I really want her back. I love her more than anything but my actions in the past have been my undoing... not paying her enough attention, making excuses to leave her family home, not being there 100% for her. I have been unhappy with our situation; she lives at her parents with our daughter (since the birth) and it all came to a head when I asked her to move in with me and she declined (I have my own flat). She basically told me she knows where her 'bread is buttered best'. As you can imagine this really hurt me.I don't know if my lack of dedication in the past is responsible or whether she just wants to stay where she has 3 live-in babysitters. There's more to the story and in summary I feel like she is playing headgames a little. One minute she's flirting in front of me with other guys and the next we're sat in my flat and she's playing with my hair. Any females can shed some light on these mixed signals? Is she being a cow? Shall I forget her and concentrate on the baby? I'm in hell right now, and I don't know what to do to make things right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThere have been developments....Yesterday, we were playfighting in my flat and one thing led to another. Not before a lot of tears on her part though. Not quite sure what to think of it all but I will be seeing her again tomorrow and will likely get an idea of where her head is at.We both realise it will take some time but we communicated very well yesterday. I told her I realised what I had done (and indeed not done) and assured her I would never make the same mistakes again. She says we haven't totally lost our flame but things will take a long time. I know I have to be patient now and show her I am there for her but at the same time remember that something that is on standby is not a challenge for her. It's hard to gauge what I should do.Anyone got any thoughts on this?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response faith_believe_love.She has said that in time we 'may' get back together but it's this timespan that bothers me. I'd be devastated if she were to meet somebody else although I did ask her yesterday if she was looking to find someone and she told me she wasn't...that's not to say she'd decline if she met someone.Our arguments have caused me to be banned from their home (they didn't like coming home to her upset on my account). I know this is an uphill battle but one I must win; all I have ever wanted is for us to be a family unit and happy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response faith_believe_love.
She has said that in time we 'may' get back together but it's this timespan that bothers me. I'd be devastated if she were to meet somebody else although I did ask her yesterday if she was looking to find someone and she told me she wasn't...that's not to say she'd decline if she met someone.
Our arguments have caused me to be banned from their home (they didn't like coming home to her upset on my account).
I know this is an uphill battle but one I must win; all I have ever wanted is for us to be a family unit and happy.
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A
female
reader, faith_believe_love  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Hi,.Maybe you are right those things that you've done with her in the past made her feel that way.Just give her a lot more of time to think about it too.Dont get discouraged when she acted like that in front of you.Longer your patience and spend more time with her and the baby too even if she still lives in her Family's home.Keep on doing the right thing until the time comes she realizes what a hard work and a lot of effort you've given just to show how much you love them both.Good Luck!!!
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