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How does the small stuff determine whether a relationship is worth investing in or not?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *va_shaw writes:

Hey everyone. I wrote about a week ago. Guess I need a bit more feedback :-) So, for 2 weeks my boyfriend of 3 months had suddenly changed his behavior from loving to quite indifferent so I was close to the conclusion that he was trying to break up with me kindergarden style and decided to retreat with dignity and have no further contact. So, now he is back. he already sent me a number of messages and one e-mail in the past 2 days explaining that his weird behavior was due to the death of a friend (explaining last week but not week before that). I have not answered any of it, in fact I have "gone missing" for a week, not in order to play hard to get but because although he did send a number of texts they seemed quite indifferent.

Even the mail was offering detailed explanation about why he had been so weird but in a very matter of factly way, more of the stuff you'd write to your wife of 15 years rather than your new girlfriend. I am not sure how to react. I hate nagging and I would never do that. As much as I want to be with him I want and feel I deserve someone who really really likes me. I find his behavior confusing and I am not sure how to proceed or if he actually cares. Before this two weeks of being an indifferent non existence he used to be extremely attentive and sweet (though not overly expressive with words). It sounds like a silly problem but the real question is how does the small stuff determine whether a relationship is worth investing in or not? So, what to do??? Any insight appreciated

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A female reader, sammi star United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2009):

sammi star agony auntIf he didn't care about you then he wouldn't go to all this trouble, sending you emails and messages to explain his behaviour, and if he wanted to break up with you then I'm sure he would've jumped at the chance when you weren't speaking to him for a week. You say he's never been expressive with words anyway so don't stress about the fact that his emails are very matter of fact. It's often hard to get across exactly what you mean in a message anyway so why not give him a chance to explain face to face? He's obviously trying so if you want a relationship with this man you should try to meet him half way. Good luck x

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