A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:been friends with this guy for years but he's shown a lack of value and respect towards me, because everytime I send goodbye messages ... then a few days will pass and we will talk again. How do I get him to start taking me seriously? How to be not available give late replies?I want him know that he's lost me.He's admitted feelings for me, but won't take it to relationship level. This is because we argue over his shady behaviour Help? I bent over backwards for this guy he's never appreciated me.I want him feel the pain he has caused me. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, BigCuz  +, writes (10 January 2015):
Move on period, if he cares at all, he'll feel it
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2015): You just cannot win with a guy like that, even if you did not speak to him for 6 months he will do the same thing again. So keep busy, meet new guys, change your number and anyway he can contact you. That should give you your power back and feel better. Then keep strong and dont contact him thats how you win the game. Then find,someone who you dont need to play games with as its a waste of time.
You are probably annoyed because he does not seem to be bothered when you say goodbye, but thats because he knows your not serious. Well this time dont just say it, do it.
I had an ex who used to be like that and laugh at me and say oh I knew you would be back, I used to feel humiliated but I showed him good and proper 7 year ago when I never went back.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 January 2015):
 You ask:
"How do I get him to start taking me seriously?" You can't.... especially, now that you've revealed to him that you are fond of him.. HE's revealed himself as having not much respect for you... so YOU'RE reaction to that has to be the separation that you disdain.... AND,
"How to be not available give late replies?" Don't answer your phone or reply to emails/texts....
"I want him know that he's lost me." .... and, "I bent over backwards for this guy he's never appreciated me." (and), "I want him feel the pain he has caused me."
BUT: He'll figure out that he's "lost (you)".. (and) will NEVER "appreciate" you.... (and) will never "feel the pain" equal to how YOU feel......
Sooooo, move on - without this guy - and make a great life for yourself in the future....
Good luck...
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (5 January 2015):
The best revenge is to forget about him and live your life and find happiness. Do not give him this kind of control over you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 January 2015):
 Well, if all he has to do is turn around and ignore you for a few days when you give your little "goodbye" speech, and you two are back to square one, HOW will he EVER know what he would miss if you weren't there for him?
BLOCK him, IGNORE him and STOP talking to him all together. Move on with your life, find a guy who WILL appreciate you for you.
I know you were hoping to get some good idea as to how to PLAY this game of his, but games don't really work unless you are 5 and on the playground.
...............................
A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (5 January 2015):
 This can be narrowed down to three things and I don't think you're going to like them:
- he hasn't lost you because you still care and want him to be with you
- if there's genuine "shady behaviour" (what did you mean?), it's bad news
- you need to leave, move on and stop caring about this guy because he's not really interested in you. You can't force it and shouldn't want to, even if you could, because it would be fake :/
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2015): He will not realize what he has lost until you're gone, gotten over him, and you've moved on. He's not that into you; that's why he seems indifferent.
You should be putting all your energies into getting on with your life, and getting him out of your system. Not worrying about trying to force feelings out of him that obviously aren't there.
He says he cares? Sorry, but actions speak louder than words. You're the one who can't let go when you see a guy isn't reciprocating your feelings.
I'm not being mean; but it's your problem. Not his. You're wasting time worrying about what a guy feels after you're gone. It's what he feels when you're together that is important.
What does he matter once you breakup? He was a mistake. Now life starts over and you've got the opportunity to do better.
When he sees you can be independent (you don't need him), happy as a single-woman (not desperate), and make your own way (able to be happy even without a man). Then you'll eventually find someone better. Then it'll hit him!
By that time, you've moved on and won't give a sh*t!.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2015): Just remember that "goodbye" is not just a word, it's an action. If you want him to take you seriously, stop playing games and start being serious. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Quit wavering. If I had a guy who once a week tells me, "this is goodbye," first I'd laugh (simply because its a rather corny thing to say, no offense) then I'd sit back chilling because I know I'll be talking to him again in a few days when his mood passes. If he doesn't want to be with you just accept it and move on. That'll get him thinking. The fact that you're acting like his hesitance marks the end of your relationship with him, simply shows him how much you care. You don't have to stop being friends with him. But stop pursuing him, be casual and look elsewhere. Stop being so obvious about how much you care. If he really does have feelings for you, that will drive him wild with jealousy and may inspire him to step it up with you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (5 January 2015):
 First of all you wash all thought of that man out of your hair.
Then you choose to make thee sexier than before in a classy way. No matter how good you look today, you can improve and go up a notch in classy.
See where you can revamp your diet to end up with skin that glows with good health.
No matter how good you look today you can start a stretching, weights and aerobics regime to make your body sizzle.
Then go to the stylist and see how you can upgrade your hair with a better cut than right now.
Finally revamp your wardrobe. Not B grade starlet Style. But instead over a period of time add some Classic and classy clothing so that you sizzle in an upmarket manner.
Then if and when you do meet him by accident FAIL to recognise him as if you have forgotten him completely.
He will see red.
...............................
|
